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Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on June 8, 2012 at 10:32am

Lindisfarne Day

Date: Friday June 8, 2012

The Viking Age began on this date in the year 793, when three ships loaded with Norwegian raiders descended on the monastery at Lindisfarne, off the coast of England, sacked it and slaughtered the monks. Since the Holy Isle - as the Christians called it - was a center for missionary activity, and because the attack had come with no warning, all Christendom was stirred with panic.

The Norsemen were probably motivated by gold and cattle rather than glory (there being little of the latter in sending clerics to their tedious afterlife). Monks had wealth, for reasons as up to date as modern televangelism. The vikings wanted it, so they took it.

We can suggest a more idealistic motive, though. Maybe the heathen Norwegians, tired of Christian interlopers, had been tolerant too long. Perhaps they wanted revenge for the destruction of their folkways at the hands of guileful southlanders. At any rate, the Gods must have looked on with joy to see a pack of wolves descending with power and grace onto the cross-wearing sheep. .

On Lindisfarne Day we praise the Nordic instinct for self defense - something manifested less and less in our own times. We struck back. Neither mercy nor pity must ever persuade us that the defense of our religion, our culture, and our people is a duty to be lightly shirked. True, we no longer use sword and fire, but the obligation remains the same.

To honor those vikings of long ago who fought back against the Christian invaders, you can:

• Strike at the Christian imperialism in your own heart. We have all been colonized, deep down inside, and uprooting the weeds of alien thought is a long-term task. What guilt, fear, and joylessness are you carrying around? Meditate on it, and on how to get rid of it.

• Contemplate the rune tiwaz (T) in regard to victory and absolute justice.

• Be. energetically physical today to help you maintain a warrior attitude (and body!).

• Go sailing. If you don't know how, sign up for lessons.

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on June 8, 2012 at 8:44am

Woohoo! New laws for humanity coming soon. Finally, a reason to climb out of the muck! Order and meaning are just around the corner. Tune in next week, let’s see what Odin has in store…

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on June 6, 2012 at 10:46am

You gotta admit, there are a lot of parking lots down here! I’ll leave it to you to figure out which one-out-of-three Odin is talking about, but just so you know, he doesn’t drive a car and giant hunting isn’t a spectator sport.

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on June 1, 2012 at 10:28am

So many things can go wrong with clouds… bad condensers, electrical problems, and now this. Fortunately, Thor and Mjolnir can fix about anything, but they aren’t getting out of this one without a good soaking!

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on May 30, 2012 at 7:58am

The sheer scale of life in the universe is amazing, even if you only count Midgard. Billions of people is hard to fathom, but what about insects? It’s strange to think that there actually exists a total number of ants at any given time. The only individual capable of knowing this total number is of course Odin with up to date figures from his ravens. Oh, and E.O. Wilson — who actually provided the base figure I used when coming up with an ant count for today’s comic.

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on May 16, 2012 at 7:32am

I think Baldur made the right decision. Leaving one’s house in the care of Freyr, Snoop, Ron Jeremy and a couple of sleazy cartoon chicks is a sure recipe for disaster.

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on May 11, 2012 at 8:42am

Okay, so if you don’t get today’s cartoon, you need to read up! Loki is the mother of Sleipnir, of course - the result of cavorting with a stallion while taking the form of a mare. And if you think this holiday is difficult for him, just think how he feels on Father’s Day when Fenris, Hel, and the Jormungand Serpent show up on his doorstep to pay their respects. Perhaps a vasectomy is in order. Or a tubectomy? Don’t these gods believe in using birth control when fooling around with strange beasts and the large ladies of Jotunheim?

Loki’s Mother’s Day situation isn’t the only one complicated in Asgard. Heimdall has nine mothers and all of them expect flowers and cards.

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on May 9, 2012 at 12:39pm

Lest you think all that Odin does in this comic is blast unwitting humans with lightning bolts… voila! Natural earth processes at work, Odin style. What is natural anyway? What is the driver behind these things? And is the driver drunk or sober? For the record, Odin is not prone to drunken behavior, but nothing beats an exquisite glass of wine when blowing the top off a mountain.

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on May 4, 2012 at 10:42am

I don’t blame Thor for getting angry. Who is this Thur person anyway? Let’s keep the Thor in Thursday where he belongs. And the Freyr in Friday. Or is it Freya who gets Friday? And how about putting Mjolnir in Monday - it may not be historically accurate, but it makes sense. You start the work week on Monday, Mjolnir is a hammer, and a lot of people work with hammers starting on Monday morning (except for the guys who start hammering on Saturday around 8 a.m. - bastards!) And what about Tuesday… I thought Tuesday was named after Tyr? I don’t even know how to pronounce Tyr, but I’m sure it sounds nothing like Tuesday. It’s in worse shape than Thursday. Odin gets Wednesday, of course, because Wednesday sounds just like — argh.

Yeah, yeah, I know… all the names are from Old German or Middle Norse or Lower Swedish or something like that. Except Sunday. And Monday. Monday which now belongs to Mjolnir. Okay, you all get the joke. Hail Thur!

Comment by Dept of PMM Artists & things on May 2, 2012 at 11:39am

Wow. You know, I’m living in Florida now and there is a LOT of lightning in this state. I’m starting to think maybe I shouldn’t joke around about this kind of thing so much. One member of my family was knocked unconscious by a bolt that struck a nearby tree once and she said it wasn’t very much fun. She did get out of work for the rest of the day, however. Anyway, if I do get blown away by a heavenly bolt, please have a grim chuckle at my expense. But hopefully that won’t happen. I head for cover when the sky starts flashing and I don’t ask sky gods to prove their existence while walking across open fields, especially when the sky is brooding and the god is Odin.

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