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Once there was a good looking woman. The men all liked her looks, but she would not have any of them. Even several animals said of her, "I sure would like to go with this woman."
Now there were three animals; a beaver, a skunk, and an owl. They said, "Now we will try to get this woman." They told the owl, "You go first and see whether you can get this woman." Then the owl went to see the woman, but she told him, "I won't go with you because you are ugly. Your eyes are too big. I won't go with you!" So the owl went back and said, "I couldn't get that woman."
Next the skunk went to see the woman, and she told him, "I won't go with you either because you are too ugly, and you stink." So he went back and said, "I couldn't get that women either."
So then the beaver said, "I will go see that woman." When he got there he began to talk to the woman, but he also failed to get the woman. She told him, "I won't have you because you are an ugly thing. Your teeth are wide and your tail is big and broad. That tail of yours looks like a stirring paddle."
Then the beaver went back and he said, "Well, I also could do nothing with that woman. Now I wonder what we could do to get that woman?" Then they talked about what they could do to be able to get that woman. The beaver said, "Way over there in the creek, where she gets water, there is a log that runs into the water. Now I'll go and gnaw that log nearly in two. Then when that woman goes to fetch water, her weight will break the log, and the woman will fall into the water. Then she will send for us so we can help her get out.
Then when that woman fell in the water she said, "Now I wish the beaver was here. Maybe he could help me out of get out of the water."
Then she began to sing, "Pe Pe Kwan Sa, Pe Pe Kwan So. Ni ha noliha tamakwesa (I like the beaver)." Then he said, "No one would like my looks because I am ugly. My teeth are too wide, and my tail looks like a stirring paddle."
Then the woman sang, "Pe Pe Kwan Sa. Niha nolina shekakwisa (I like the skunk). Pe Pe Kwan Sa." The skunk said, "No one would like my looks because I am so ugly and because I stink."
Then again she began to sing, "Pe Pe Kwan Sa. Niha noliha kukhusa (I like the owl)." Then the owl said, "No one would like my looks because I am ugly. I've got big eyes."
So the woman floated on down the creek, nobody would help her, and she finally drowned.
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February 17, 2026 at 12am to February 5, 2027 at 12am – where & how you choose
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Patchwork Merchant Mercenaries had its humble beginnings as an idea of a few artisans and craftsmen who enjoy performing with live steel fighting. As well as a patchwork quilt tent canvas. Most had prior military experience hence the name.
Patchwork Merchant Mercenaries.
Vendertainers that brought many things to a show and are know for helping out where ever they can.
As well as being a place where the older hand made items could be found made by them and enjoyed by all.
We expanded over the years to become well known at what we do. Now we represent over 100 artisans and craftsman that are well known in their venues and some just starting out. Some of their works have been premiered in TV, stage and movies on a regular basis.
Specializing in Medieval, Goth , Stage Film, BDFSM and Practitioner.
Patchwork Merchant Mercenaries a Dept of, Ask For IT was started by artists and former military veterans, and sword fighters, representing over 100 artisans, one who made his living traveling from fair to festival vending medieval wares. The majority of his customers are re-enactors, SCAdians and the like, looking to build their kit with period clothing, feast gear, adornments, etc.
Likewise, it is typical for these history-lovers to peruse the tent (aka mobile store front) and, upon finding something that pleases the eye, ask "Is this period?"
A deceitful query!! This is not a yes or no question. One must have a damn good understanding of European history (at least) from the fall of Rome to the mid-1600's to properly answer. Taking into account, also, the culture in which the querent is dressed is vitally important. You see, though it may be well within medieval period, it would be strange to see a Viking wearing a Caftan...or is it?
After a festival's time of answering weighty questions such as these, I'd sleep like a log! Only a mad man could possibly remember the place and time for each piece of kitchen ware, weaponry, cloth, and chain within a span of 1,000 years!! Surely there must be an easier way, a place where he could post all this knowledge...
Traveling Within The World is meant to be such a place. A place for all of these artists to keep in touch and directly interact with their fellow geeks and re-enactment hobbyists, their clientele.
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