Banned From Pennsic

Filked by Morgan of Osprey

When we pulled into Pennsic for a little R&R
we set out investigating every booth and bar.
We had high expectations of their hospitality,
but found too late they weren’t prepared
for Meridians such as we.

And we’re banned from Pennsic every one
we’re banned from Pennsic just for having a little fun
we had a mighty good time there..just 3 days or 4
but Pennsic doesn’t want us any more!

Our Baroness would yield to none in putting down the brew
She outdrank 7 U.S. Marines and a demolition crew.
Baras Bayan, he didn’t win, but he outdrank almost all,
and now they have the baronial flag on the roof of troll hall.


Morgan loves his cordial and the cordial loves him too
He took some to the Blue Feather Ball and wondered what It’d do.
The autocrat came calling and swore upon his life,
that a gang of blue feathers came into his camp and then made-over his wife.


Lex’s tastes are simple but his methods are complex,
We found him with 5 partners each in a different world of sex.
Security was on the way..we had no second chance,
We got him back to camp in time with the remnants of his pants.


Our stalwart viking Haldan got drunk on something green,
and stumbled to a party where he suffered things obsene.
He came home with no gard and an oddly cheerful heart,
and a painful way of walking with his feet a yard apart.


Camric loves humanity, his private life is quiet,
security had picked him up at the Pleasure Palace Riot.
We found him in the City Jail, broke in and got him free,
But on his neck 5 hickeys and 6 kinds of VD.


A gang of pirates landed and nobody seemed to care,
they came into our party to announce that they were there.
Half our house was busy there, what more is there to say,
then they slowly looked at us and turned and ran away.


Our house is Osprey’s finest, our record is our pride
But when we blaze we tend to leave a trail a mile wide.
we’re sorry 'bout the riots, the wreckage and the fuss
At least we’re sure that Pennsic won’t be quick forgetting us'.

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Patchwork Merchant Mercenaries had its humble beginnings as an idea of a few artisans and craftsmen who enjoy performing with live steel fighting. As well as a patchwork quilt tent canvas. Most had prior military experience hence the name.


Patchwork Merchant Mercenaries.


Vendertainers that brought many things to a show and are know for helping out where ever they can.

As well as being a place where the older hand made items could be found made by them and enjoyed by all.

We expanded over the years to become well known at what we do. Now we represent over 100 artisans and craftsman that are well known in their venues and some just starting out. Some of their works have been premiered in TV, stage and movies on a regular basis.

Specializing in Medieval, Goth , Stage Film, BDFSM and Practitioner.

Patchwork Merchant Mercenaries a Dept of, Ask For IT was started by artists and former military veterans, and sword fighters, representing over 100 artisans, one who made his living traveling from fair to festival vending medieval wares. The majority of his customers are re-enactors, SCAdians and the like, looking to build their kit with period clothing, feast gear, adornments, etc.

Likewise, it is typical for these history-lovers to peruse the tent (aka mobile store front) and, upon finding something that pleases the eye, ask "Is this period?"

A deceitful query!! This is not a yes or no question. One must have a damn good understanding of European history (at least) from the fall of Rome to the mid-1600's to properly answer. Taking into account, also, the culture in which the querent is dressed is vitally important. You see, though it may be well within medieval period, it would be strange to see a Viking wearing a Caftan...or is it?

After a festival's time of answering weighty questions such as these, I'd sleep like a log! Only a mad man could possibly remember the place and time for each piece of kitchen ware, weaponry, cloth, and chain within a span of 1,000 years!! Surely there must be an easier way, a place where he could post all this knowledge...

Traveling Within The World is meant to be such a place. A place for all of these artists to keep in touch and directly interact with their fellow geeks and re-enactment hobbyists, their clientele.

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