52

[Dept of PMM Castle Life]

So, do you still want to be a slave?
The Submissives Creed

i will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. i realise that failing to do so will not only prevent my Master and i from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm. i will not try to manipulate my Master. i will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. i will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not accustomed to or comfortable with and expanding my limits. i will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being. i will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Master, and will do my best to fulfil His wishes and desires. i will not allow myself to be harmed or abused, I know that submissive does not equal "doormat".
i will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissives, i will share my knowledge and experiences with others in the hope that they will learn from where i have been i will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.
i will be responsive to my Master, i will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that i may assist Him in His responsibilities as my Authority, i know that Dominants are not telepaths, and will not expect my Master to know thought or feelings which i do not share.
i will never think myself a "better" submissive because i choose to submit on a different level than another. i will not be boastful of experiences i have had as a sub. i know that my actions reflect upon my Master, and will do my best to help others see him in a positive way, i will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Master.
Above all, i will wear my title of submissive with honour, i will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or subhuman. i will take pride in who and what i am, and will never show myself in a negative way.
The Submissives Rights

• i have the right to set limits, and expect them to be respected.
• i have the right to trust, providing I have earned it.
• i have the right to expect You to believe I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person.
• i have the right to ask for Your attention, without having to misbehave to get it.
• i have the right to expect You to administer Your punishment on me with care and caution.
• i have the right to question your motives, should You deny my requests, as long as I do so with the proper respect.
• i have the right to speak up if I feel O/our relationship is not giving me what I need.
• i have the right to tell You what I need in a respectful manner.
• i have the right to expect You to understand my reasons for doing so, and the right to expect You to listen with an open mind and heart.
• i have the right to walk away from our relationship if W/we cannot come to a common ground on these issues.
• i have the right to expect tenderness, love and understanding after a scene is completed, should it be what I desire.
• i have the right to ask You for that tenderness if i've had a bad day, or if i just feel the need for closeness, i understand that there will be times when You and i will disagree about this ~ when You will want a scene and i will not.
• i have the right to voice my opinion, and expect You to listen to and consider my reasoning’s, i expect You to have final word, but i expect You to wholeheartedly consider my feelings, whatever they may happen to be.
• i have the right to expect You to understand that deep trust often breeds love, and i expect You not to repel me if i tell You that i love You. For my Master i will love You, should O/our relationship move ahead, should O/our trust continue to grow.
• i have the right to expect You to tell me, at any point, if You do not feel You can return those feelings, so that i may decide what i want and need, For it is Your pleasure that adds to my own, and makes it real, And mine, that adds to Yours!
A glossary of some Gorean terms found in John Norman's writings, in alphabetical order (many are used by real-world Gorean lifestylers to describe their practices, and a few have been taken up in general BDSM use):
;"Camisk": A common Gorean garment for female slaves; in its basic form, it is a simple rectangle of cloth, about 18 inches wide and up to six feet long, with a hole in the center. The slave-girl's head goes through the hole, and the cloth is worn as a sideless poncho, generally belted at the waist by a tied cord. Worn without undergarments, due to the prohibition against a "nether closure" (see the entry for "Tunic" below). A version of this was the main slave attire seen in the first release of a Japanese fan's efforts to illustrate Gor book #19 (an early, influential, use of Poser software for Gorean fan-art). ;"Dina": The "slave flower", an alternative symbol to the "kef" for a female slave. ;"Iron belt": Chastity belt for female. ;"Kajira": Female slave (Latinesque plural is "kajirae"). ;"Kajirus": Male slave (Latinesque plural is "kajiri"). ;"Kef": Letter of the fictional Gorean alphabet (slightly resembling a Latin-alphabet "k"), which is commonly used as a symbol for a slave (since it writes the first sound of the words Kajira/Kajirus) — it is found in a stylized cursive form (the "staff and fronds") for a female slave, and in a simple block script form to designate a male slave. ;"Ko-lar (Collar)": The collar is an important symbol of Gorean slavery; the brand (usually the Kef or Dina) symbolizes general slave status, while the collar proclaims ownership by a particular Master or Mistress. Many different types of collars can be worn in different circumstances or cultures, but the most common in the northern temperate zone city-states is a flat metal locking collar. ;"Kurt": Gorean-language term for a five-strap flogger or "slave whip", described as typically having an eighteen-inch long handle (suitable for either one- or two-handed use) from which depend five relatively soft and flexible flat lashes, each an inch-and-a-half wide and two-and-a-half to three feet long. Intended to effectively discipline female slaves without real risk of injury or scarring. ;"La Kajira": A sentence meaning "I am a slave girl" in the Gorean language (the main lingua franca of the northern temperate zone city-states). In some cases, a free woman who utters this sentence becomes legally enslaved. This is one of the few Gorean-language sentences given in the books. The Gorean language appears to have sex-specific first person pronominal forms (the corresponding masculine being "Lo"). ;"Nadu": Gorean name for classic sexual submission kneeling position, with torso over heels and knees widely separated. (This position was described in the "Story of O", though the name "Nadu" is Norman's, used by him only in Gor book #13.) By default, the hands rest on the thighs. Also called "the position of the pleasure slave, that of a woman who is of interest to men". ;"Red silk": Non-virgin (especially of a female slave) ;"Silk slave": Male slave kept by a woman owner for bedroom duties (most male slaves on Gor are used for hard labor in work gangs). ;"Sirik": A set of linked chains and attached locking circlets intended to thoroughly restrain a woman's movements, but without needing to fasten her to anything, and while still allowing her to stand, to walk with mincing steps, and to kneel in the tower or "nadu" positions. The main chain (about five feet long) hangs down from a locking collar; a bracelet chain (connecting two locking wrist manacles that are usually about 6-12 inches apart) is attached to the main chain roughly two feet below the collar, or at the "lower belly", while an anklet chain (connecting two locking fetters that are usually about a foot to a foot-and-a-half apart) is attached to the end of the main chain. The chain lengths can ideally be adjusted to taste; Norman suggests that best results are obtained when the main vertical chain (collar chain) is long enough to rest on the floor for several inches when the woman is standing straight (alternatively, the collar chain can be slightly shorter, and end in a small ring, through which the anklet chain is allowed free play). The chains should be light enough not to be too burdensome or uncomfortable when worn for several hours. ;"Slave wine": Semi-permanent female contraceptive, usually taken by drinking an unsweetened bitter liquid. ;"Stabilization serum": Immortality potion. (Slave wine and stabilization serums combine to contribute to certain apparently intentionally unrealistic aspects of the Gor books.) ;"Tower slave": Female slave whose duties do not prominently include sexual services (derogatory variant: "kettle slave"). Opposite is "pleasure slave" or "silk girl". ;"Tower slave position": Like "nadu", but with knees together (indicating a less sexual submission). Also called "the position of the house slave". When the hands are not occupied with some task, they generally rest loosely in front, with wrists crossed. Gorean free women commonly kneel in a similar position, but in less revealing garments, and never with wrists crossed. ;"Tunic": Standard garment worn by men on Gor whose occupations demand physical effort and freedom of movement (such as warriors) — and also (in a rather different form) by female slaves. Tunics worn by slave-girls are commonly short (with the hemline only coming down to the upper thighs) and sleeveless. Those slave-tunics worn by pleasure-slaves (as opposed to tower slaves or kettle slaves) are often slit in front down to the navel, and modified so that they can be removed with a simple pull on a "disrobing loop" attached to one of the shoulder-straps. In the northern temperate zone city-states, a slave-girl's garments are generally required to allow an open-air path to her privates, to symbolize and facilitate her constant sexual availability and accessibility to her master, so that no undergarments are worn. ;"Walking chain": Light locking ankle fetters connected by a light chain a foot or more long, when worn without other restraints, are likely mainly intended to keep a woman's stride length below some maximum considered aesthetic, rather than to confine a slave as such. Free women on Gor sometimes use an analogous "silken thong" as a beauty aid for the same reason, or occasionally even wear chains (as may have also sometimes been done in Biblical times — see Isaiah 3:16). ;"White silk": Virgin (especially of a female slave).
The Sexual Submissive
A sexual submissive is a person who manifests submissive traits only in direct connection with sexual arousal and release. In all other aspects of their life this person will probably comport themselves in a manner that is neutral or indistinguishable from a nonscene related person, vanilla.
There is one line of thought that a sexual submissive may be more closely related to a scene fetisher than to a submissive who is submissive throughout the scope of their life.
A fetish is an object or part of the body that arouses sexual or libidinal interest generally to the conclusion of genital or orgasmic release.
In this case the fetish becomes a part of the mind or thought processes that triggers sexual arousal rather than what we typically consider to be a fetish object such as a 'shoe fetish' or even a body worship fetisher i.e. a person who is sexually aroused by the action of body worship. Since the mind is obviously part of the body, this thought process can then be viewed as potentially a fetish even though the thought process itself might be relatively broad and appear to be unfocused (in terms of fetish type focus or obsessions). When the entire mental process becomes obsessive the specialization seen or noted in traditional fetish behavior becomes inclusive or not easy to note.
It is interesting to consider that within the framework of 'scening' or the theater of the sexual arena the sexual submissive may present every aspect of submissive behavior and will in truth become 'during' that scene or sexual arena to all extents and purposes a submissive.
A person whose sexual triggers are so linked to submissive behavior may have great difficulty understanding their 'lack' of submissive feelings, desires or thoughts outside of the sexual arena. Some might even consider themselves to be flawed or stuck, as if they have reached a type of submissive plateau when in actuality they are not submissive in the broadest sense of that term at all.
It is common for a sexual submissive to have strong mental submissive or 'force' imagery within their mind at any time they are in a sexually 'interested' state. This would be any time the body was desirous of physical genital release. This long obsessive state leads many sexual submissives to erroneously believe that they must 'be' submissive since they have such a strong desire to experience the submissive 'condition' during sex. The sexual submissive may find that they are experiencing many conflicting mental messages when they attempt to adopt submissive behaviors outside of the sexual arena. They might note that the submissive behaviors do not feel natural to them, nor even comfortable. They might also note that their submissive sexual thoughts revolve around sexual specific submissive behaviors and are not inclusive of all submissive behaviors. These internal limits may feel peculiar and may elicit challenge and lack of understanding of the sexual submissive when they are in direct contact with a dominant who is unfamiliar with the nature of a sexual submissive.
The sexual submissive in their 'vanilla' life is most likely to present themselves in an almost neutral framework to others. A few may manifest overt dominance but most indicate that they dislike conflict, may struggle with decision making although they are competent to make decisions. Many also indicate a lifetime of feelings of internal insecurity, sometimes based upon the conflictive mental messages relating to their sexual interests.
One of the indicators or identifiable traits of a sexual submissive occurs in the aftermath of a sexual scene where they have performed as a submissive. After the sexual 'scene' has reached its natural conclusion the sexual submissive may in fact feel strong feelings of remorse, chagrin and confusion over the nature of their nature. Many do not really understand why they need to relate to their intimate partners from a truly submissive framework, why this arouses them so strongly and why the aftermath is so challenging and difficult.
Some sexual submissives feel a sense of revulsion for their actions or behaviors and have great difficulty returning to a state of well-being sometimes for hours after the sexual scene has concluded in genital orgasmic release. This sense of revulsion can appear almost instantly once orgasm has occurred. If a sexual submissive is 'active' and experiences submissive sex frequently the sexual submissive becomes more able to handle or manage their feelings and to understand the process of their behaviors.
From a dominants perspective being with a sexual submissive can be enormously enjoyable, primarily if the two are sexually compatible within the framework of the fetish type triggers that the sexual submissive displays. It may allow the dominant to dominate during this type of very erotic scene and be able to be with their partner in a neutral almost vanilla type relationship in all other areas of their life. This can be a relief to a dominant if their mindset or personality is such that they desire to be with a sexual submissive, enjoy their scening but not have to perform as a dominant the rest of the time.
The dominant who is actively with a sexual submissive must also learn to allow the sexual submissives feelings of 'revulsion' after the scene has ended and not personalize this revulsion as having anything to do with them. The revulsion should be anticipated, the dominant may elect to provide nurturing or supportive activities noted to ease the sexual submissives immediate feelings. It should be noted that the revulsion is not directed at the dominant by the sexual submissive but at the actions of submission itself which the sexual submissive has engaged in.
A sexual submissive will often have or experience great difficulty with presenting themselves as a submissive outside of the sexual arena and may have great conflicts in understanding how they fit into the D/s lifestyle community since the existence of a 'limiting' submissive isn't written about or spoken of in almost any venue. If you believe yourself to be a sexual submissive then I urge you to become comfortable with who you are and not try to force yourself to fit into any other persons idea of what you must be. Remember, there will always be a special person out there who fits your peculiarities just as you fit theirs, exactly as you are.
Reprinted from the Steel-door Newsletter ~ ©F.R.R. Mallory ~ The Steel Door
The Four Gifts
She kneels before her lover's feet and looks into his eyes searching for the truth she needs as she vows him her life. Four packages lay on the floor all dully wrapped. She reaches low to place the first in the lap of the one she adores. Opened as quickly as he had won it, he views her heart inside. It is yours my love, and has been since the day you helped me to your side.
The second gift is smaller. The paper is silver gilt. Tis just my mind, she whispers, to do with as you will.
The third one, small and compact white paper, small white bow. She watches as he opens and whispers... and now you own my soul.
She bends to pick the last gift up and trembles as she holds it. Small tears of love run down her face. This gift has been the hardest. He smiles at her and reaches and watches the gift dissolve. "Master, love," she whispers, "This gift is more than just my love. It can't be held. It can't be wrapped. The gift is my surrender."
~Author Unknown
The Velcro Collar
What is a velcro collar? Quite simply it is a joke. Dom/mes who are new seem to think a sub or slave has to wear a collar in order to "identify" them. A sub is not a dog. A collar is not a high school ring or a letterman's jacket. It isn't a status symbol. It does not prove that you are loved or unloved. A collar is a symbol of ownership. It means that you are ONE with your submissive. You cannot be ONE with someone you have know a week or two. Do not think to collar a submissive or slave quickly. Even if they beg for your collar. After all, you are the Dom/me and make that decision. Collaring is a lifetime commitment. Avoid the urge to give a Velcro collar. You may think it is forever, but ask yourself this simple question: "Would I marry this man/woman tomorrow if I could? Am I that deeply committed?" If the answer is no, then you are using a Velcro collar and eventually it will come right back off.
Training Collars
Here is another good myth to be aware of. The training collar. Training collars are worn as "props" in a scene. They add to the excitement of the scene at times, and can be used to help restrain a sub or slave. They are not part of the daily wardrobe. They are not used to "try out" a relationship. There is no "30 days orientation" for a D/s relationship. If you are unsure that a sub is your partner, then the sub is free to seek elsewhere. Even if you would like to be his/her Dom/me, if you are not ready to commit, then there is no commitment. Nothing worse than a Master or Mistress that continues to search for their "One" while asking the sub to be faithful. Being Dom/me does not entitle you to sift through every sub you can find, and stick some on lay-away. I you want a polygamous relationship, make sure the subs you are looking at know this and know how far you intend to take it, and know that if they cannot handle it, they are free to go with no shame to them.
The "Real" Thing
If and when you ever find one you truly think is your soul mate, it is time to consider a collar. Like a wedding, a collaring can be big and elaborate, or just the two of you pledging your own vows to each other. Remember that the word "vow" means solemn promise, and do not promise what you can't carry out. If you are married and intend to stay that way, it is foolish to pledge eternal love. If you have divorce plans, it is up to you whether or not you wish to wait until you are free to promise anything. Remember that if your sub is married and has small children, no amount of romantic vows is going to change that fact. No one can serve two "Masters" and a married woman or man will think of their family first ahead of their Dom/me if children are involved. The same holds true if you are married with small kids. Let your sub/slave know from the very beginning if your family will always be first and he/she will always be second. Yes, you may lose him/her that way, but it has to be their decision to take a chance on a married Dom/me or not, and your decision to be honest about it. Remember that the more a submissive gives of herself to you, the more chance there is of her falling deeply in love with you. That may be wonderful for your ego, but consider the consequences to his/hers if you have to suddenly break things off.
Final Words
Collaring isn't for everyone. You may never feel the need to collar anybody. That's ok too. Collaring is and should be a serious lifetime commitment that takes time and patience and communication before even thinking about. Go slow and you will not have as many regrets.
copied from http://www.mhbrands.com/Dom4Dummies7.html The Velcro Collar