SCA style filking-songs

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

Banned From Pennsic

---

Filked by Morgan of Osprey
 

When we pulled into Pennsic for a little R&R
we set out investigating every booth and bar.
We had high expectations of their hospitality,
but found too late they weren’t prepared
for Meridians such as we.

---chorus---
And we’re banned from Pennsic every one
we’re banned from Pennsic just for having a little fun
we had a mighty good time there..just 3 days or 4
but Pennsic doesn’t want us any more!

Our Baroness would yield to none in putting down the brew
She outdrank 7 U.S. Marines and a demolition crew.
Baras Bayan, he didn’t win, but he outdrank almost all,
and now they have the baronial flag on the roof of troll hall.

---chorus---

Morgan loves his cordial and the cordial loves him too
He took some to the Blue Feather Ball and wondered what It’d do.
The autocrat came calling and swore upon his life,
that a gang of blue feathers came into his camp and then made-over his wife.

---chorus---

Lex’s tastes are simple but his methods are complex,
We found him with 5 partners each in a different world of sex.
Security was on the way..we had no second chance,
We got him back to camp in time with the remnants of his pants.

---chorus---

Our stalwart viking Haldan got drunk on something green,
and stumbled to a party where he suffered things obsene.
He came home with no gard and an oddly cheerful heart,
and a painful way of walking with his feet a yard apart.

---chorus---

Camric loves humanity, his private life is quiet,
security had picked him up at the Pleasure Palace Riot.
We found him in the City Jail, broke in and got him free,
But on his neck 5 hickeys and 6 kinds of VD.

---chorus---

A gang of pirates landed and nobody seemed to care,
they came into our party to announce that they were there.
Half our house was busy there, what more is there to say,
then they slowly looked at us and turned and ran away.

---chorus---

Our house is Osprey’s finest, our record is our pride
But when we blaze we tend to leave a trail a mile wide.
we’re sorry 'bout the riots, the wreckage and the fuss
At least we’re sure that Pennsic won’t be quick forgetting us'.

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

The Finest of Them All Lyrics and Music by Lara Campbell McGehee Copyright 1995

(Chorus) I was but a young maid, 
Green as leaves in springtime, 
When at first I saw you, 
Riding past my door. 
You were tall and proud, 
Upon a raven stallion, 
And for me you were, 
The finest of them all. 

I stood at the door to watch you riding by, 
Then you smiled upon me and my heart stood still. 
My mare was in the field, no shoes were on my feet, 
But I'd have followed you if it had been your will. 

(Chorus) 

Summer time had come when you rode near again, 
You needed not a word to bring me to your side. 
Golden were the days, you were my every joy, 
Music filled the air where you and I did ride. 

(Chorus) 

Four seasons they did pass, I waited still for you, 
Though others came who wished to answer to my call. 
I did not hear their words, and dreamed only of you, 
For none of them could match the finest of them all. 

(Chorus) 

When you wed another, thinking not of me, 
Autumn winds were blowing and the rain did fall. 
Bitter were the tears, and yet I wear a smile, 
For in my heart I hold the finest of them all. 

(Last chorus) I am yet a maiden, 
Handsome men come courting, 
But the one who wins me, 
Won't get all my heart. 
For I may wed another, 
And to him be tender, 
Still for me you'll be, 
The finest of them all... 
Yes, for me you are, 
The finest of them all... 
For me you'll always be, 
The finest of them all. 

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

For Elizabeth

Rathflaed DuNoir
The Black Bard of Meridies
mka: Stephen R Melvin
23 Feb 92

          C                                           G
Oh, I've searched for you my lady, For one hundred thousand years,
      F                                      C
I've felt your arms around me, And you've washed away my fears.
       C                                  G
I've seen the way you sparkle, When your body's next to mine,
          F                                  C
And I've seen the way your smile makes the sunlight always shine

Chorus

         C             G
When the sky turns to gray,
        F                  C
And the night moves into day,
                C                G
I can make the sun shine for awhile,
            F                 CG            F               C
I have the memory of your smile, of your smile, of your smile.

I can see the way before me, yes the road that lies ahead,
My lady, you're not here with me, in that lovely dress of red,
But you're always in my heart, and you're always in my mind,
And the memory of your smile makes the sunlight always shine.

Chorus

So I'll search for you my lady, for one hundred thousand more,
To feel you next to me again, and in my arms once more.
So I can see you sparkle once again, when your body's next to mine,
'Til then the sunlight shines for me, I see you smile all the time.

Chorus twice

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[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

Gather Ye Pipers
Mikal Hrafspa (Mikal the Ram)

Notes from Mikal:
My mundane ancestors are Scots, the Clans Shaw/Catham, and MacLeod. The Hebridies islands are the old home lands. I have never gotten to go, but my father did before he died. I sing this one in memory of him, and of all the Clans that did not run when the Vikings landed, but said come on in, have a drink. A Highlander is just half Norse anyway...

This is, in my opinion, the best thing I ever did...

Chorus:
Gather ye pipers and long chanters blow
Fetch drum and the tabor, and play a march slow
I raise my cup
And pledge drink to thee
I raise now my cup towards the dark sea

To these northern islands, the Hebrides high
Where oft landed longships, beneath the grey sky
Come blow the great horn
Maids come to the shore
They blow the great horn but the ship comes no more

Chorus

I drink to ye Ian, who sailed with the tide
And young brother Jamie, the sea steed to ride
And Eric for gold
And Sean his keep
They sailed for the gold, but beneath waves they sleep

I sit by the fire, lost and alone
Four empty places, and one who stayed home
I drink to my kin
Who walked Njord's road
I drink to my kin who'll drink here no more

Gather ye pipers and long chanters blow
Fetch drum and the tabor, and play a march slow
I raise my cup
And pledge drink to ye
A cup of our blood to quench the dark sea

 

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

Have You Seen The Army? Mikal Hrafspa (Mikal the Ram)

Notes from Mikal:
An entry into the Lilies warpoint, that got me a win the year I wrote it. It was written in about 15 min. just prior to the contest....

Have ye heard the story from the land of Calontir?
With sword and axe a-swinging fit to make a grown man fear?
The Barons called for taxes, the people answered "Nay!"
"And if you come collecting, there'll be hell to pay!

Have you seen the army, it was here a while ago,
And do you know who's winning, have we struck a mortal blow?
I do not know your armor, but you seem a friend to me,
Oh have you seen the army marching in Forgotten Sea?
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

You should have seen the battle, t'was a glory to be seen,
Conveniently the dead were rolled into a deep ravine,
The bandits followed Halidar into a brushy patch,
If it hadn't been poison ivy they'd have won without a scratch!

Have you seen the army, it was here a while ago,
And do you know who's winning, have we struck a mortal blow?
I've just been resurrected, I'm sure you've heard of me,
Oh have you seen the army marching through Forgotten Sea?
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

T'was at the bridge they tell me, that they made their final stand,
But it's hard to win a battle when you're killed by your own man.
The captain of the guardsmen hit upon a plan so bold,
With a trick used every tax-time, hide your sacks of gold!

Have you seen the army, it was here a while ago,
And do you know who's winning, have we struck a mortal blow?
I forgot to ask which side you're on, would it help me if I said,
I'll give up armored combat, and take up crochet instead?

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

The Helmsman
Mikal Hrafspa (Mikal the Ram)

 

otes from Mikal:
Every once and a while, I fall into a group of Vikings bent on plunder and war. They're a nice group of lads, but the smell of testosterone around the fire would drive off less manly men. When the fire is high, the drink is stout, and the girls are free with their kisses, the crew of that ship always ask for a Viking song. This one usually works..

To oar, to oar, the helmsman did cry
We're close to the shore and the tide's running high
There's gold in this place and we're willing to try
And the gods would favor the bold
These Irish will flee as we come from the sea
Aye the Norsemen are sailing for gold
The Norsemen are sailing for gold

To arms, to arms, the helmsman did say
They've chosen to meet us in battle today
They cannot withstand us, they'll soon run away
And the gods would favor the brave
So let fly the spear, there'll be slaughter here
Aye the Norse have come over the waves
The Norse have come over the waves

Stand firm, stand firm, the helmsman did shout
Though many have fallen our hearts are still stout
Should we retreat it would end in a rout
And the gods would favor the strong
So here we shall stand to the very last man
Aye the Norse will remember our song
The Norse will remember our song

Rise up, rise up, the Valkyries cry
Odin appointed this day you would die
Mount up on our horses, to Valhalla we fly
And the gods still honor the brave
Outnumbered you stood as a true hero would
True Norsemen go such to their graves
Norsemen go such to their graves

(OPTIONAL LAST VERSE)
No sound, no sound, save the rush of the sea
The ravens are feeding, they won't feed on me
For when our line broke, I hid in the trees
And the gods have forgotten my name
I cannot go home, forever I roam
For the Norse would remember my shame
The Norse will remember my shame

 

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

'll Fear Nothing With You at My Side
by Rathflaed DuNoir
The Black Bard of Meridies
mka: Stephen R. Melvin

Capo 2

     G                          Am
For centuries down through the ages,
  Em                       Am
I knew I'd find one of my kind,
       G                   Em
And I felt not a fear of finding you here,
        Am            Em          Am
For I knew you'd be there at my side!

Chorus

             G                        Am
And through all the time we'll be together,
Em                            Am
You'll be my strength and my pride,
        G                           Em
And if all the long years bring an ocean of tears,
G          Am           Em           Am
I'll fear nothing with you at my side.
I'll fear nothing with you at my side.

And now here we stand with each other,
Our faith has been tested and tried,
We'll say as we stand to the world hand in hand,
I'll fear nothing with you at my side.

Chorus

When we have grown old together,
We'll look back on the roads we did ride,
I'll say to you what the years have made true,
I feared nothing with you at my side.

Chorus (past tense)

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[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

It's So Big
Lyrics and Music by Sherri Burmeister (a.k.a. Ivory), Copyright 1996

 

A cup, a cup, 
My kingdom for a cup. 
Two lords a goin' to the field. 
Without protection had to yield. 
Lord Taran offered his cup; 
The first lord picked it up. 
He went away to try it on, 
To his dismay the size was wrong. 

(Chorus) It's so big; 
It's so incredibly big. 
Can't believe my eyes, 
A magnificent size! 
I'll never fill it up; 
And neither will my friend; 
Or the two of us...together! 

A cup, a cup, 
My kingdom for a cup. 
The feast was ready to be served; 
Without the bowl that it deserved. 
Lord Taran offered his cup; 
A lady picked it up. 
A ladle full she did put in, 
And then the floor did meet her chin. 

(Chorus) It's so big; 
It's so incredibly big. 
Can't believe my eyes, 
A magnificent size! 
I'll never fill it up. 
There's not enough soup at the feast, 
Or the village! 

A cup, a cup, 
My kingdom for a cup. 
A toast the King did wish to make. 
Without a goblet hard to fake. 
Lord Taran offered his cup; 
The King he picked it up. 
Discreetly poured his drink inside, 
And then looked like he nearly died. 

(Chorus) It's so big, 
It's so incredibly big. 
Can't believe my eyes, 
A magnificent size! 
I'll never fill it up. 
Whatta' you think I am? 
I only brought one bottle! 

A cup, a cup, 
My kingdom for a cup. 
Lord Taran was all suited up. 
The one thing missing was his cup. 
A page he found the cup; 
Lord Taran picked it up. 
He went inside to put it on; 
And every lady's eye was drawn. 

(Chorus) It's so big, 
It's so incredibly big. 
Can't believe my eyes, 
A magnificent size! 
I hope he fills it up; 
He better fill it up... 
He's got a legend to live up to now. 

One more time: It's so big; 
It's so incredibly big. 
Can't believe my eyes, 
A magnificent size! 
I hope he fills it up. 
I hope...he fills...it up. 

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

The Jester
Words and music by:
Rathflaed DuNoir
The Black Bard of Meridies
mka Stephen R. Melvin

 

Capo 4

    Am                  G
A long time ago, in a land most far away,
       Am                                   G
There stood a peaceful village which might still be there today,
          C                G
This Town had a bane, The Jester was his name,
    C                       G
He had a band of men and terror was his reign.
   Am                            G
No one could ever equal him at throwing words or puns
    Am                                     G
He terrorized their village, raped their daughters killed their sons,
    C                                             G
He stole their crops and burned their homes and none could shed a tear,
          Em                               Am
For the jester made them smile while his company made them fear.

Chorus:

       Am                           G
O the grown men would run and the children would hide,
     Am                        G
The women would faint to the ground,
        C                      G
He had bells on his shoes, a baton at his side,
          Em               G              Am
And they feared when the jester came to town.
         C                        G
With his eyes shining dark, the jester made his mark,
        Am                        Em
He'd a face white as death all around,
       Am                              G
He'd a wit sharp as knives and they'd run for their lives,
          Em               G              Am
For they feared when the jester came to town.

One day there came into the town a man with a sash of black.
He had a song in his voice and a harp on his back,
A traveled man from far away his road was long and hard,
But he'd stood it well though he'd been through hell,
And he called himself the bard.

The Bard performed a juggling show, Those balls he made them whirl,
'Til the jester interrupted by insulting a young girl.
The bard he made a snide remark, and thus he sealed his doom.
For the jester said, "You'll face me in a punfight at high noon!"

Chorus

Next morning bright and early, the bard was nowhere found,
The town was quiet as a church, no one dared make a sound.
The jester rode into the town, no one dared even think,
He stopped into the tavern, and he got himself a drink.
At noon the jester stepped outside, the sun was shining bright,
The jester said, "I knew he'd run, this town is mine tonight!"

My noon it seems is higher than yours, rang out in a voice so clear,
So the jester stopped and turned around, and he then began to fear.
The bard jumped lightly to the ground, the subject had been set.
So the jester steeled his voice, and he said, "A bet's a bet.
I have a sage to visit about your comment on the thyme"
The bard replied, "Let's spice things up." In a wicked sounding rhyme.

The jester shot back quickly, "Are those cloven hooves you wear?"
Why no, but if you're interested, there's a sheep right over there.
The bard thus scored the first real blow, and he thought he might have won.
But the jester said, "I wooldn't" and the pun fight had begun.

Chorus

From sheep the subject went to war and continued towards the night.
From knights came swords and armor, in a truly glorious fight.
Fighting went back into war, they wore out subjects, true.
But truth itself it was no match, for the vice they had to screw.
The bard nailed that one on the head, and this the jester saw.
It's hard to ware a subject when your throat is hoarse and raw.
But the mane pun of the evening, from the tale up to the head,
Was a triple pun and when 'twas done, The jester lay there dead.

Chorus

(Slow)
So the punfight had been won, and the town owed their lives,
To a skill with words unmatched, for which every true bard strives,
So the bard finished up his show and he sang well into night,
For the people of that town threw a feast as was his right.
Next morning the bard rode away, and the people said goodbye,
And the lass who'd been insulted asked with a tear in her eye,
"Have you any words to leave with us before you go milord?"

Remember lass, the pun is truly mightier than the sword!"

Chorus twice

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[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

Karelia's Song
Iolo fitz Owen (mka David R. Watson), 1980

 

Now, the Baron of East March's fair sorcerous daughter
was enamored, unseemly with the fool of her Lord.
Now her Duke was deemed handsome, he'd a soul vain and petty
and a dark mind as empty as last summer's gourd.

And the fool, he was clever and he sang for the Lady
like a nightingale piping in a deep forest grove.
But his station was lowly and his body was aging
and their love was as helpless as if he were stone.

So the Lady has led them, the fool and her husband
to her cool secret garden by the mid-summer's moon.
and she's danced them a spell there of shifting and changing
and left them dumbfounded by sorcery's boon.

She has left the fool crying to the god's of his fathers'
she has led her Duke laughing to her high chamber door.
And she's kept him there softly for two days bright dawning's
while the servants all gossiped in wonder and awe.

Now, the fool died in madness, saying he was ensorcelled
and the Duke only smiled him a sad secret smile.
Now, the Duke rules his people in wit and good humor
and he sings for his Lady like the nightingales' song.

And she's born him five children, two sons and three daughters
and they've grown straight and handsome and sorcerous all.
And they dance in the garden and sing in the moonlight
like nightingales singing in a green forest hall.

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

Loki's Song
Mikal Hrafspa (Mikal the Ram)

 

I was born in battle's fire
Laid beside my mother's corpse
My toys the ravens of the field
My lullabies the screams of horse

But when that storm god you all praise
Walks the earth and shatters trees
You huddle close beside my gift
And whisper prayers beside the spit
And as the woodsmoke turns and twists
You owe your lives to sly Loki.

Odin saw me on the field
And recognized his bastard son
There he claimed me for his own
Heir to all that he had won

But when that storm god you all praise
Walks the earth and shatters trees
You huddle close beside my gift
And whisper prayers beside the spit
And as the woodsmoke turns and twists
You owe your lives to sly Loki.

I am the slyest of the gods
Fire is the gift I gave
I am swifter than the wind
And none can match the tricks I've played

But when that storm god you all praise
Walks the earth and shatters trees
You huddle close beside my gift
And whisper prayers beside the spit
And as the woodsmoke turns and twists
You owe your lives to sly Loki.

What is the honor they give me?
Denied a seat in Odin's hall
Forbidden fruits from Idun's tree
And cast outside of Asgard's walls

But when that storm god you all praise
Walks the earth and shatters trees
You huddle close beside my gift
And whisper prayers beside the spit
And as the woodsmoke turns and twists
You owe your lives to sly Loki.

So sit beside the fires gleam
And count the wrongs that I have borne
I wait for Ragnarok and dream
Hark! Is that the battles horn?

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

The Moose Song
Tom Payton and others

 

Notes:  The original author of this infamous song has come forward!  Tom Payton wrote verses 1 through 4 around 1977 while involved in Revolutionary War  re-enacting. He was also involved in SCA, Civil War reenactment, Wicca and had friends who played rugby, so the song inevitably spread, and many, many verses have been added over the years. Way many more actually exist than we have listed here. The folk process at work, for better or worse!  Tom has specified that this song is in the public domain now. He notes, too, that the "When I'm in the mood..." verse was actually intended to be the first verse. Thanks Tom!

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I'd play with their corsets and fondle their curls.
'Till one day, my lady I caught with some churl,
Now you'd never get treated that way by a moose.

Chorus
Moose, moose, I likes a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had lots of lovers, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Now when I'm in mood for a very good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay.
I go to my window and spread it around.
'Cause moose always come when there's hay on the ground.

Chorus...

Gorillas are all right on Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they puts up a fight.
But it's just not the same when you slam your caboose,
As the feeling you get when you humps with a moose.

Chorus

I've done it with beasties with long flowing hair,
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there.
I've done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose,
But it's just not the same when you screw with a moose.

Chorus

Now that I am old and advanced in my years,
I look back on my life and shed me no tears.
As I sit in my chair with my glass of Matheus,
Playing Hide-The-Salami with Melba the Moose.

Chorus...

[Dept of PMM Artists & things]

My Old Man's A...
Text is from Uncle Justinian's Songbook, except for the bard, knight and fop verses, which were written by Roger of York, Othar Morganson, and Muire Ultach (with revisions), respectively
-A.S.M.

 

My old man's a fighter. What do you think about that?
He wears a fighter's tabard, he wears a fighter's hat,
He wears a fighting tunic, and he wears fighter's shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he reads the daily news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a fighter, just like my old man.

My old man's a baron. What do you think about that?
He wears a baron's tabard, he wears a nice gold hat,
He wears a baron's tunic, and he wears leather shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, some one reads him the news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a baron, just like my old man.

My old man's the king. What do you think about that?
He wears a kingdom tabard, he wears a pointy hat,
He wears embroidered tunics, and he wears pointy shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he makes the front page news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be the king, just like my old man.

My old man's a herald. What do you think about that?
He wears a herald's tabard, he wears a wide brimmed hat,
He wears a herald's tunic, and he wears sensible shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he cries the daily news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a herald, and shout at my old man.

My old man's a merchant. What do you think about that?
He'll sell you any tabard, he'll sell you any hat,
He'll sell you any tunic, he'll sell you any shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, his children shout:
PENNSIC DAILY TIDINGS, ONLY FIFTY CENTS!
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a merchant, and sell you my old man.

My old man's a Pelican. What do you think about that?
He'll help you make a tabard, he'll help you buy a hat,
He'll help you sew a tunic, he'll help you pick out shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he helps put out the news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a Pelican, and help out my old man.

My old man's a Tuchuk. What do you think about that?
He doesn't own a tabard, he has a fake fur hat,
He doesn't wear a tunic, he hasn't any shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he eats the daily news.
And some day, if I can,
I don't want to be a Tuchuk, not like my old man.

My old man's a Laurel. What do you think about that?
He wears a completely authenticated, fully documented tabard,
And a completely authenticated, fully documented hat,
And a completely authenticated, fully documented tunic,
And completely authenticated, fully documented shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he refuses to read the Pennsic Daily Tidings
Because his persona would not have been able to understand English.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a Laurel, and criticize my old man.

My old man's a bard. What do you think about that?
He'll sing for a tabard, and then he'll pass his hat,
He'll sing about his tunic, and he'll sing and tap his shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he sings about the news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a bard, and sing about my old man.

My old man's a knight. What do you think about that?
He wears a gold chain o'er his tabard, he wears an iron cap,
He wears a white belt round his tunic, and spurs on his shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, his squires bring him the news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a knight, just like my old man.

My old man's a fop. What do you think about that?
He wears a frilly tabard, he wears a floppy hat,
He wears lace tunics, and very pointy shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he makes the fashion news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a fop, and swish like my old man.

My old man's a stick jock. What do you think about that?
He wears faded blue jeans, he wears a baseball cap,
He wears a dirty tee-shirt, and white Nike shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he fights.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a stick jock, and beat up my old man.