29

[Dept of PMM Castle Life]

About 3 minutes after the collar locked around my neck, I learned that there was a further cost of entry into Gor, or in fact any kind of D/s relationship. This cost of entry to accepting/choosing/begging a collar is, in fact, any and all constructions of personal identity, habit, and/or personality that are deemed undesirable by the Master. The psychological and emotional requirements exacted by the collar are such that they are also not easily left in-world, if, in fact they can be left in world at all. One astute Master has written: “You should realize that when you put a collar on somebody, even online, you are, in fact, fucking around with a person’s real life.” I am not going to dispute the words of an experienced Master. I am just going to say: so much for the myth of in-world only.

I think it is important to say at this point, that most of the writing I have seen about D/s around here has been horseshit. When I say this, I am talking about the long-winded essays against D/s that only seem to make real discussion of D/s ridiculous, and degrade what is really a serious, and in the wrong hands, dangerous practice, into something you do on Saturday afternoon instead of watching a football game or something.

Dominance/submission (D/s) is called a “power exchange” because it is a kind of relationship between consenting adults that is difficult to describe. I mean if you know absolutely nothing about it, you can describe it for sure. You can say oh yeah, D/s is like, He/She says “do this” and she/he does it and its exploitative and all that. OK fine. Probably if you know nothing about Mozart you can tell me that he writes nice music and how he was a smart kid, too. In both cases, obviously, you have missed the point if you say stuff like that, and nothing shines like ignorance.

D/s is a highly mediated, highly negotiated relationship between two persons, and it is absolutely not a transparent relationship. In D/s it is absolutely not clear to persons outside the relationship what is going on in the relationship, and in D/s, appearances are absolutely deceiving. In the course of studying under my Master, I read about, I think, five books on D/s, and wrote a journal of approximately, I think 300,000 to 450,000 words or maybe even more, in total. (I think that’s about the size of a doorstop by Tolstoy, but maybe not.) My writings were read every day, and when deemed necessary, I received feedback about my writings. My Master was very careful about me, and his punishments were devastating precisely because they were specifically designed with yrs truly, here, in mind. He was also extremely sensitive to the fact that I had a real artistic calling in the performing arts, and was, in fact, the best psychological personal performance coach I’ve ever had. I am saying this so you know that I am not talking about some run-of-the-mill jerk. I was very fortunate. Some are not. Most are not, actually.

In D/s, with a good master, the slave or submissive, may appear to, and does in fact, give up control over the process of personal identity construction to the master. This is called “training”. However – and this is important – the Master is held to a much higher standard of self-discipline and self-honesty than is the slave/sub. The Master is also held to a higher standard of self-responsibility. A responsible and experienced Master will never ever inflict anything on a slave/sub that a sub/slave does not know about, and has not agreed to, even if only in a general way through use of some written protocol or contract. The Master is honor-bound not to violate the limits of the sub/slave, and He/She knows exactly what they are.

A D/s relationship between consenting ADULTS can be a relationship of deep emotional mutuality that requires a level of communication and trust that most people can’t do because either they don’t have the skills, or they have blocks. I failed because of blocks. I have lots of abandonment experiences in my childhood, and they basically overwhelmed me because I had put them away in a box, kind of. It is not unusual for this to happen to people because of the emotional intensity of D/s. When emotionally threatened, I would become the five year old girl I had been once, whose mother kept telling her that someday she was going to come home from school to find nobody home. Finding this five year old alive and well in my psyche was a devastating experience for me, and I paid for it in a big way.

I am saying this so you know that D/s is a real process of inner exploration. It is not about showing up in SL, sliding into buffness, putting on a titler that says Master and then telling some cute toon to suck your cock. No serious, responsible Master is going to be that kind of fool. No serious, responsible Master is going to sign up for a case of what is called “top-drop” over some toon. No self-responsible slave/sub is going to sign up to be psychologically abused. But this is not what happens in SL. In SL any jerk can put on a titler that says Master and any airhead can flutter her eyelashes and :smile sweetly: There are, at this time, at least three organizations in SL dedicated to cleaning up after the SL Master and his airhead. These organizations are probably able to speak to cost of entry. In Japan, at least one person has committed suicide over his/her experiences in virtual worlds. Several people in SL have commented to me that they expect, at some point, to hear that someone has committed suicide over events/relationships in SL, and they say that because it is their feelings that the Lindens appear oblivious to human cost of entry/experience in SL. Think about it.
"Why would a girl *want* to become a Gorean slave?"

This question is really composed of several questions...or questions that must be answered on the way to answering the question. First is "Why would a girl want to become a slave?" Then, "Why would she want to become a Gorean slave?"

The first part is the hardest to understand. In our present culture, slavery or servitude is bad, and anyone who practices it is an evil exploiter of others. What is there about it that causes some women to wish to voluntarily give up their freedom to another? What do they gain from it?

Some women are by nature submissive. They wish to take the subordinate role. They want to do things for others. This gives them pleasure and fulfillment. They do not wish to make all the decisions for themselves. For some, it is looking for a parent they once had or never had. For others, it is the giving of themselves in service to another. Feeling needed and necessary is a part of it also. Those are the better reasons and emotions behind it. There are others that are not so positive. It can be a very low self-esteem. The person who feels that they can only be noticed when they are doing something for someone. Perhaps it is just the need for someone to tell them what to do and how to do it. Others can only find worth in themselves if others declare it as they can see none. There are women who feel so physically inferior they will do anything to get attention and notice from others, even things that are self-destructive. The BDSM world is full of these people. There are many more reasons than I can ever know, let alone list here. Suffice it to say that each person has their own reason or reasons for giving up their life to another person.

There are many people who are this way to some extent. Most of them would never wish to enslave themselves to another. So, what drives the few who do? It can be a combination and/or an excess of any of the items listed above. It might be a way for a girl to look for love who feels that she must do something extraordinary otherwise men will not be interested in her. Or, she could feel the burning desire to give of herself so totally that there is nothing left, it is all in another's hands. Just as there are many types of reasons for doing this, there are several types of submission on the way to slavery and past the point of becoming a slave.

First, there are the submissives. They give up to a point, but always hold much back. They do as they are bid until something reaches one of their internal limits and then they stop being submissive. The submissive is not a slave. She is still her own person. Many of the Free Women of Gor could be said to be submissive, but they are certainly not slaves. Often, this is a stage people go through on the way to becoming a kajira.

The next group is those who call themselves slave, but are not full time slaves. This includes those who use slavery to bring some excitement into their sexual play. I would put the BDSM subs into this category. They are slave-like when it suites them and within their preset limits. They may also reverse the role and be Doms and Dommes when it suites them. Personally, I would say that any who do that are not slaves in any true sense of the word, except they play at being one on occasion.

Another type of the part time slaves are those who are slaves online. It does not matter what type of communications are used, web, IRC, ICQ, voice or video chat. With one branch of online slave, when the computer is turned off they mostly stop thinking about or being a slave. These are the players or gamers. People who seek diversion or excitement playing at being someone else. Sometimes, that someone is a slave. This can be a way of learning about slavery, or being Gorean. It can also just be a way to get a quick and safe sexual rush. How much the person is a slave when the computer is off varies from not at all to as much as possible. There are some online slaves who work hard at being a slave when the computer is off. The net is just a means of communicating with their Master. It is also usually how they found their Master. These people I would call slaves, even Gorean slaves for some of them.

Offline slaves come in several types. I will lump them together into Gorean slaves, BDSM slaves and other slaves. The other group is simply any who live a submitted lifestyle, acknowledging another person as their Master and does not fit into the first two groups. The BDSM slaves are much more committed subs. They may be into what is called TPE or Total Power Exchange. TPE is similar to Gorean slavery. The usual limits of BDSM may not be there, such as safe words and contracts. One of the main differences between TPE and Gorean slavery, is a cultural difference. Goreans are a culture as well as people interested in a philosophy. A Gorean slave is one who submits completely to a Master who considers themselves Gorean and who follows the philosophies and practices as well as the cultural trappings of our Earth version of Goreans. This is not the Gor of the books by John Norman. They are fiction. We cannot really live as the people do in the books. We must adapt what is there to what we can do here on Earth. Some people are able to live lives more like those in the books than others, but just because you cannot bring all things Gorean that are theoretically possible into your life does not make you not Gorean. You do the best you can with what you have and the Earth life you must lead. A subset of Gorean slaves is the kajira. Kajira is the Gorean word for slave girls. So in one sense, all Gorean slave girls are kajira. But in this instance, I am using it to mean a Gorean slave who has surrendered everything to her Master without reservation, without exception. They are their Master's to do with as their Master wishes in all ways. Not everyone is capable to surrender to that level. Not everyone will agree with my distinction here. For many, submission and surrender are the same things. I see one as deeper than the other so that is the way I am using it here.

To some extent we have answered why a person would wish to become a slave and what types of slaves there are. Now we have the question of why a person would wish to become a Gorean slave? Why would they wish to add the trappings of a series of science fiction books to their lives? They don't need to do that. This is quite true, they don't need to and many, or even most who call themselves slaves do not do that. However, Gorean slaves have some things that many other slaveries lack; they have a common culture with others, an absoluteness that does not exist in some forms of voluntary slavery, especially BDSM based slavery, and Masters that are Masters all the time, not subs part of the time. The Gorean Masters generally have a much firmer control over their slaves and allow them much less latitude than other Masters do. Also, most Goreans are not into inflicting pain either to gain pleasure for themselves or their slaves. Pain is reserved for punishment and as a reminder in the slave's training of how they are to behave. Most slaves I have talked with say that they are Gorean slaves because if feels right to them. The other types of slavery just felt wrong to them.

Once again, there are many reasons a person would wish to be a Gorean slave, almost as many are there are Gorean slaves. In the end, it all comes down to the fact that in becoming a Gorean slave they have found something they were lacking elsewhere. Something that satisfied a need within them. They feel right about how they are living and what they are doing. Because...they wish to do so.
Gor vs. BDSM

This is just one man's opinion about the differences between Gor and BDSM. It was written in response to a question a slave asked me and replied by e-mail. She wanted to know the difference between the two as she came from BDSM areas. That is not a place I have ever been a part of. Others will tell you similar things and different ones, including that there is no difference. I say to the last group, you just don't understand what Gor really is.

It is correct to say that some things are the same between BDSM and Gor, whereas many are diametrically opposed to each other. The biggest differences are in the control of the Master over the slave and the point of what we do. Please understand that while I have read some about BDSM, I have never participated beyond reading a couple of Usenet groups on occasion and wandering into a very few IRC BDSM channels. What I say here is based on what I have read, what I have seen, and the people I know who are into that scene.

Safe, sane and consensual. I am sure you have heard those words before. They are the watchwords of BDSM. Gor doesn't follow those rules. Yes, we do want to be physically and mentally safe...being sane is probably a good thing...[grins]...and the slavery we practice is consensual, up to a point. There are no safe words, there are no days we do this and days we don't. It may not be something we do in front of children, but some do. Gor operates on Honor and Trust. I like to add Honesty and Responsibility to them. The slave must trust her Master enough to give herself into his hands. Trust that he will care for her life and well being as long as she is pleasing to him. A Gorean Master takes the responsibility for his slave in what she does, how she acts, what she wears, what she learns; responsibility for all parts of her as well as her well being and health. A true man does not willingly damage something valuable to him. Like anywhere else, there are pretenders, abusers, and people trying to do something they really are unfit to do. Goreans would say that a man must master himself before he can master a slave. The good Masters do not need to prove themselves to anyone because they have already proved what they are to themselves.

The other big difference is that BDSM seems to be about sex. That is the main point of BDSM as far as I can see. Gorean slavery is about service of a slave to her Master and the pleasing of him. Sex is there but it is not the most important thing. A Gorean slave is not only free to explore and reveal her sexuality, she is required to do so. She is not allowed to withhold any part of her from her Master. Most Goreans do not seem to do much BDSM play. There may be a bit of bondage or things (besides collars) which could be called fetish wear, but they are not central to being Gorean. A Gorean Master does not whip a slave for her erotic enjoyment, or his, but to punish her. To make her understand that she was displeasing in her actions or attitudes and that she needs to change what he found displeasing.

It is hard, though not impossible to do BDSM by yourself. A man or a woman can be Gorean without owning a slave. Being Gorean is an attitude and a way of life, not something you do in the bedroom or when you put on special clothes and go to a play party somewhere. It does not turn on or turn off when convenient, Gor is.

Understand that I am talking in generalities here, and perhaps the idealized Gorean Master, but from what I have seen and read, these are the main differences between the two. Some people involved in BDSM use Gor to spice up their play at times, sometimes Gorean use BDSM to spice up their sex. However, if I bind a slave's hands behind her back, for example, it is because I do not wish her to use them while I am doing something with her, to her or while she is doing something. Or it could be as punishment for doing something with them that I did not want her to do. It could also be for training purposes. Many different reasons, but her sexual enjoyment of being bound is likely to be very low on or totally off of the list of reasons.

I have said that we can not do everything as the books do it. We live on Earth, not Gor. We live within the confines and legalities of our society. We do what we can to recreate parts of the Gorean philosophies and Master/slave system, but more importantly for men; we look to the books as a guide to our behavior and existence as men. It has been said, and I believe it to be true, that a man can be Gorean and never own a slave. A free woman can be Gorean and never be a slave. A slave can be Gorean only while she is a slave to a Gorean Master.

Telling the difference between those who might properly be called Gorean and those who only play or pretend to be Gorean can be hard at times. I do not claim to be able to tell in all cases. I look to see if they walk the talk. If they do, and what they speak is what I consider Gorean, then I call them Gorean. There are those whose words and knowledge I respect as they say they respect mine. Some of those people I count as being Gorean. As it pleases them to consider me Gorean, I have come to accept it.

"Why Should a Slave Wish a Strong Master?"

Why should a slave wish a weak Master? A slave wishes to be controlled. They wish firm limits and guidelines, not fuzzy wiggle room to twist in whichever way they please. Ok, some slaves do want loose rules. They are the ones who wish to control their slavery. In the BDSM world, this is called "topping from the bottom". They are the people who wish to be slaves when it suites them and not at other times. Can we really consider them true slaves?

Goreans expect a Master to be solid and unyielding with their slave. A slave may still be asked their preference on some matter and the Master may allow the slave to have their choice. A classic example of this is a Master asking their slave what movie they would like to watch. The slave might choose a movie they think their Master would like to see, a movie they would like to see (which might be the same movie), or a movie the slave believes their Master would accept seeing. (I will go into the logic of making such choices another time.) The Master has the option to accept or reject the choice. Whichever way the Master goes, it is still the Master's choice of which movie to watch, no matter who chose the title.

A slave is expected to make choices all the time. Choices within the guidelines their Master sets and choices that their Master does not care or need to make. Most Gorean Masters do not micromanage their slaves except in those few areas which directly impact or please them.

Even the stongest Master will not lay down rules for everything, as it is impossible to cover every situation except in a general way. They will establish rules, which give direction to their slave in places that their specific rules do not cover. The slave must do their best in any situation to decide which of their pre-existing rules will apply and how their words or actions would best reflect on and please their Master. The slave will not always choose correctly, but with experience they will do so more often.

Strong control and limits on choices is what many slaves are looking for when they decide to become a slave. This is in addition to the need to serve and give themselves to others. If they do not find the strength they are looking for they will not be happy. This can lead to a slave looking for a new Master. This is not a good situation for either the Master or the slave. Eventually the Master will either change, the slave will beg release, or the Master will release their unhappy slave. The slave must then look for a new, stronger Master. If a slave feels that their Master is not being as strong and commanding as they are looking for, they can beg to tell their Master where the slave's problem lies. It could be that the Master does not wish to do more than they are, or they have become so pleased with their slave that they see no need to be as strict as they once were. Whatever the reasons, it is the obligation of the slave to present their problem to their Master for resolution.

Thanks to the internet, Masters and slaves can interact and learn about each other before a collar is begged or they start living together. This is a good thing, however, they can never know enough or as much as they will learn being together offline. The learning they can do online is often enough to make decisions about a Master or slave before making a final commitment. But remember, people can be very different in how they appear online and what they are like in person. Both Master and slave must choose the best they can when looking for a slave or Master. But take heart, real strength of character and mastery will show through in the end if you take your time and look carefully.
With regard to slaves, offline, specifically: The American legal system, and those of the other civilized nations on this Earth, do not recognize slavery as a legal institution. Therefore, it is impossible to deprive a woman, legally, of rights, citizenship, etc.
For this reason, Gorean slavery requires that a girl consider herself as being rightless, with regards to the man who owns her, in spite of the lack of legal countenance for that condition. To embrace Gorean slavery on Earth means at the very least that you are giving up the ability to call the police if you don't feel like being whipped, or raped, that night, and he does it anyway. If you can't trust yourself not to do that, then you're not ready to be a slave yet... and if he can't trust you not to do that, then he doesn't think of you as his slave.
Having a job does not invalidate slavery, since being a slave does not mean you are slave to all men, only to those who can exercise power over you. If I tell my slave to get a job, I expect her to do it well and successfully, as part of her service to me- and I expect her to be as assertive as necessary to get the job done. The former scribe who was Tarl's accountant in book 6 makes an excellent example of the principle of the employed slave.
As far as kids... again, if a man wants his children to be raised strong and wise and whole, it is the slave's duty to see to that as effectively as possible. Telling a slave to obey a 5-year-old does neither the slave nor the child any good. There's no reason why a woman can't be deferent to a man in the presence of children... if there are any BDSM activities, of course, they, like any other bedroom play, should be confined to the bedroom. Simple common sense.
Gor, as a philosophy, is not 'about' slavery or about sex. Engaging in master/slave relationships is one of many possible practices which are in agreement with Gorean philosophy, but not all who subscribe to Gorean thought practice slavery and not all who practice slavery are Gorean. One could make an analogy with the practice of gardening versus a philosophy of self-sufficency: they're compatible but certainly not identical.
John Norman started writing the Gor novels in the late 60's, when the USA was seeing the rise of misandric feminism and the nanny state, and his books are in large part a condemnation of those ideas. He used the books to point out how philosophical beliefs shape cultural phenomena, and to describe how a world based on different ideas from those currently popular might develop. One excellent example comes in the second book, when the men of a city-state ruled by women overthrow that government and take power. One of their first acts is to remove the guardrails from the high bridges between the tower-like buildings, explaining "Let those who fear to walk the high bridges not walk the high bridges.".
Norman presents us with a world where courage is more important than safety; where excellence, not egalitarianism, is celebrated; where people embrace and take pride in their own unique qualities rather than suppressing themselves into conformity. The Heinleinian aphorism "To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks" fits perfectly in the Gorean philosophy.
So where does the sex come in? Well, as I said above, it needn't at all. One might embrace Gorean thought and live a life of complete celibacy, with no contradiction at all... if that was indeed what you really wanted and found most fulfilling. But most people, and certainly most Goreans, would not truly prefer such a life.
Another key principle of Gorean thought is the recognition of what is real. Bacon wrote that "Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed," and Norman suggests that this applies just as much to the internal nature of men and women, the psychobiological differences between genders that are an innate part of our genetic history, as it does to physics or architecture.
So, if there is in at least some men an inherent tendency to prefer master/slave relationships, and if there is in at least some women a complementary tendency, Gorean thought says that they should seek each other out and enjoy that relationship to its fullest, no matter how politically incorrect it is. Wishing that people did not have such tendencies will not change them, and forcing them to deny and suppress their innate natures would only make them all miserable.
Exploring the evolutionary and cultural reasons why those tendencies might have developed, and the different ways they find expression, is interesting but tangential to the field of Gorean philosophy. From the Gorean standpoint, it's enough to recognize that there are men who enjoy controlling women, women who enjoy being controlled, and that such a relationship can be fulfilling and healthy for both parties. Gor doesn't say "practice slavery"; it simply says "figure out what you want, and embrace it."
In order to understand the full scope of this issue, it is necessary to review a number of facts that might be either overlooked or unknown. Although many would argue that these facts are not politically correct and might even be seen as socially repugnant to a good portion of the population, but, "facts is facts".
The institution of sexual slavery is old and might even predate man's adoption of a tribal structure. Throughout the last 200 years (or less) of man's history, the behavior of capturing females from "other" tribes and having them serve in the capacity of animals, sexual and otherwise, was not only accepted, but rather required. Even in our "enlightened age," the custom of carrying the bride over the threshold is a reminder of these "primitive" customs. Likewise, women's fashion have always reflected the twin themes of "worth capture" and "easily captured", at least insofar as the then dominant culture allowed sexuality to be expressed.
It is also necessary that we study the inherent biology and the sex drives of both male and female humans. Again, looking from a historical perspective, we can see that in patriarchal cultures the superior sexuality of the female was as feared as it was worshipped in the matriarchal cultures. Clearly, both cultural types admitted that the sexual capacity of the female exceeded that of the male. Traditional efforts to overcome this female advantage included the harem, the cultural ideal that "proper women" did not and should not enjoy sex, the idea of "original sin" with its emphasis on female guilt and or course, female genital mutilation.
Having established a biological and logical platform from which to observe, let us now look at the idea of slavery in the social and psychological context. And this brings us to our topic question: Given that slavery has existed (and still exists in many subtle and not-so-subtle forms) here on Earth, what is it about the Gorean model that many find not only fascinating, but also compelling? It would be one thing to see the Gor books being a model for a small segment of the population for a period of time soon after there publication, it is quite another to realize that they have a significant social influence some thirty years after they where published. This, in the face of STD's, feminism, the aftershock of the "politically correct" phenomena, and the radical religious fundamental right-winged groups. John Norman's vision of Gor inspires people today. It addresses the key biological elements of human sexuality as well as the psychological ones in ways that no historical Earth Model ever did. This could well be the reason that many people would like to be Gorean, and, could also be the reason that the percentage of females that want to be Gorean exceeds the number of males in quantity, quality and dedication.
Within the Gorean Model, both male and female chastity is a non-issue. Even FreeWomen, the Gorean "mothers" are not expected to be chaste, having the use of effective contraception and fertility only as desired. This, plus the lack of STD's, removes the biological restraints on both male and female sexuality. The result is that sex becomes as natural a function as eating, and as compelling. Due to her collar, the female Gorean slave is no longer responsible for her own chastity. Like any other animal in the presence of something nourishing and pleasurable, it is expected that a Gorean slave will be "wet and willing" in the presence of any Gorean male. It is not expected that she will be or should be able to restrain herself if she has not had a recently fulfilling sexual encounter. Only within the Gorean collar does the phrase "pure animal lust" take on its fullest meaning and in this day and age on Earth, it is little wonder that it is in pursuit of that freedom that many Earth women gladly don the collar and kneel at the feet of a "Master"... On Gor she, the Gorean slave girl, is finally free from the social and religious pressures, which are so ever present on Earth.
Most men find it MUCH MORE DIFFICULT to become Gorean, because they have been subject to the same social stereotyping and restraints as women, but because the expectations where not on "their side" of the equation, they are, generally ill-prepared to deal with the reality of an unrestrained female sex drive. Recall that it was and is male-dominated cultures that spend thousands of years trying (vainly) to stuff that (female genie) back in her bottle -- to no avail.
Traditionally men had relied on STD's and childbirth and social (and religious) stigma to assist them in maintaining "control" of the female sex drive, but on Gor those obstacles have all been removed. The result of this is that most men who claim that they are "Gorean" or wish they were Gorean fall FAR short of the challenge. The challenge, of course is to accept, in totality and without reservation, the lack of restrain on the female sex drive. For many, this unrestrained female sexuality displayed in its purest form before their disbelieving eyes, terrifies them beyond control.
The male fantasy, and this is what we are dealing with, is a double-edged blade. Part One is the unrestrained female, and Gorean ideas and ideals place that within reach for the very first time. Part Two is the insidious idea that somehow he is so sexually superior that all of that sexual energy will be kept for him and him alone. The problem is that men "cannot" have it both ways. Prior to the creation of the Gorean Model, what has been the solution is to BLAME the woman for HER lack of responsiveness while at the same time DEMANDING that she ONLY be "out of control" for just one man. (The lady in the parlor and the hooker in the bedroom fantasy.) Which is, of course, stupid and makes the woman the Victim and the Guilty at the same time.
Let me give you an example. I have a horse, a stallion. He is generally friendly, but extremely powerful and also very intelligent. We enjoy each other's company. If I call him, he comes to me. He will not come as easily or s quickly to anyone else, even those he is familiar with. When he comes to me, I pet him. This system works. Now from time to time, I also give him a treat. He really enjoys these treats. Sometimes other people also feed him these treats. Should I beat him if he takes the treat from a hand other than mine? Tell him he is a dumb and cheap horse because he enjoyed the treat that someone else gave him? What sort of a relationship do you think would develop if I did that? Right, you would tell me that I was being totally unrealistic and cruel, that the treat is a treat regardless of the hand that offered it, and that If I wanted him to prefer my treats to the treats offered by others, I should treat him better than others do and perhaps make certain that I give him plenty of treats so that he is not so eager to get them. Maybe you will even suggest that I find other things to share with him so that he has other things that pleased him than just the treats. And in each case you would be correct.
The reason so many men are unable to deal with the Gorean model is that they want BOTH the unrestrained sexual energy and the restrained control that directs that energy to them as the sole beneficiary. The result is that they get NEITHER.
Granted, it is possible to train the horse, or the slave, to only take a treat from your hand, but it is quite another to expect, as men are prone to do, that they will not WANT a treat that is offered to them, clearly visible and desirable. The price for that restraining is the dampening of the desire OVERALL, which is not the goal of a Gorean female slave, because she accepted the collar with the understanding that she was not longer going to be forced to dampen that desire, that indeed, the OPPOSITE would be REQUIRED of her.
I have been known to say that possessiveness and jealousy have killed more slaves than disobedience, and I stand by that statement. What few who casually read that rule understand is that the possessiveness and jealousy I refer to is NOT the sole property or problem of the Gorean slave, it is equally (and shamefully) the province and problem for some GOREAN MASTERS as well.
Let us turn our attention to the "contract" between a Gorean Master and a Gorean kajira (female slave). We will use the contract model because it is a clear outline and because, living on Earth, we do not have the advantages of Gorean law and social norms to work with. Indeed, because we live on Earth, the very nature of such a contract as we envision is "illegal" within the strictures of an Earthly legal system, and, like many useful and necessary social contracts, it is unenforceable" except as regards the honor of the contracting parties.
First, as regards to property: implicit in this contract, and indeed in all things "Gorean" is the acceptance of the fact that any animal can be the property of another. On Earth, however, except in rare cases, only governments are allowed to exercise this right. Which does NOT keep the idea of "I belong to" or perhaps more importantly "you belong to" from being used (and relied upon) by lovers, family, friends, employers, schools, churches, cities, states, fraternities, etc. etc. .etc. Examples abound everywhere. What is lacking is the open acknowledgment of this principle, which is no less then hypocrisy in action. However, as I stated, generally only governments are allowed to ENFORCE this ownership.
In the Gorean Model of things, there is a shift of ownership to the more personal level. A clear and precise line: The collar. Tangible or, as is the case in many Earth/Gorean relationships, a creation of the mind only, the collar signifies that "this one" is the property of "that one". Further, the visibility of the collar removes all chance of doubt as to the legitimacy of this condition. On Earth, it is of double weight, because a collar is accepted and worn in defiance of the previously operative social norms. So, when a woman on Earth accepts the condition of slavery, Gorean style, she is giving up all rights, present and future to self-determination, self-control, property ownership, and the uses of her body and intellect. As one kajira stated to me, on reflection, it is almost like being married and in the Army at the same time.
For a contract to have legitimacy it must have three parts; authority, that is the ability of the persons to enter into the contract; purpose, that is the terms and conditions for which and under which the contract is formed, and valid consideration, that is the payment or exchange from one party to the other party (or each to the other) that creates the equity or balances the terms and conditions.
In the Gorean contract, it is the Master who must supply the valid consideration, i.e., he must be willing to give the kajira the things, be they physical, psychological, social or emotional, that she exchanged for her freedom. Of course, on John Norman's Gor, society provides many of these things, so the "slave contract" is a different burden. On Earth/Gor it is a matter of quid pro quo.
Although many of the details of this exchange are left as exercises for the students, it does behoove us to touch on a few of the more troublesome ones. The MOST troublesome is, as we might have guessed, the sexual contract. TO make this work, the female GIVES UP any and every pretense of sexual control. By the urging or biology and the lessons provided by kind and loving training, the "normal" woman is transformed into a living expression of sexual desire and desirability. She learns to NEED the sexual contact and stimulation society has long denied her, and need it without reservation or inhibition. On Gor this would be "normal" on Earth it is dangerous! Imagine the woman who, because of a complete expression of her biology is willing to do anything with anyone who offers her a way of achieving sexual fulfillment and pleasure and who, if not regularly pleasured and stimulated will seek out a suitable male and beg him to supply the stimulation she needs.