5

[Dept of PMM Castle Life]

Honesty and Respect.
Master and slave acknowledge that a relationship can only be based on honesty and integrity, tempered with humor, warmth, and trust. Thus, all communication between Master and slave shall be open and honest as much as possible, with the intent of causing as little emotional, mental, or other harm to the other party as possible. (If there is something to be said that is unpleasant, it shall be presented in a manner that is respectful to the other party's feelings, as much as possible or warranted, given the circumstances.)
c. Mutual Respect and Trust
Master and slave agree that the other is worthy of respect, and that one of the foundations of Master's and slave's relationship is the respect that they hold for each other. In the event that this respect is ever lost, there is no hope for the relationship to continue, and thus Master and slave agree to not do anything that may cause a loss of respect in each other's eyes.
Master and slave further agree to trust that the other is committed to the relationship, and committed to not causing harm to either themselves or the other. In light of this, Master and slave agree to constantly reinforce that trust as much as possible and desirable without being disrespectful of the other.
d. Fulfillment of Needs, and Equals Now
Master and slave acknowledge that their needs and desires in a relationship are paramount, and thus may at any time call a session of renegotiation as equals if they feel their needs are not being met (or incrementally moved toward). This is a very serious request, as it is essentially "safewording" the relationship, and must not be done lightly. This renegotiation may be accomplished by saying to the other, "Equals now, please," with no supporting words or address mannerisms. The responding party shall take this as a sign of serious breach of the letter or spirit of this agreement, and react accordingly (in most circumstances, immediately ceasing any and all other activities going on at the time to focus on the problem identified and communicated by the distressed party). In the event of Master calling Equals Now, slave shall discuss this with the understanding that a defining need of Master is not being met, and shall commit to cooperatively finding a resolution to the problem and implementing it. In the event of slave calling Equals Now, Master shall discuss the problem with the understanding that slave feels that continuing on the course that Master has set will run contrary to fulfillment of slave's needs, and will cooperatively find a resolution to the problem and implement it.
Master and slave will do their best to address the needs of the other, without attempting to merely placate each other (as attempting to placate someone indicates that one has less respect for them than oneself). In the event that progress is not made within 2 weeks, the distressed may again call Equals Now and work again with the responding party to find an acceptable solution to the problem, with the full expectation that the situation will be resolved appropriately.
In the event this second calling of Equals Now does not accomplish the needed result, the distressed party may suspend the dominant/submissive portion of the relationship for 72 hours (to be implemented as in-house separation), during which time Master and slave agree to work, as equals, towards finding workable solutions to the lack of fulfillment felt in the relationship by the distressed party. If this does not work, either party may terminate the relationship without rancor, as the needs that drive the relationship cannot be met.
Limitation of Equals Now: In deference to the fact that having Equals Now called is a very stressful action (it should ONLY be used in the event of a destructive breakdown of the relationship), if either Master or slave call Equals Now for not less than 3 things that are deemed frivolous or unimportant (things that are not deep, abiding needs for the person who is distressed), the responding party may choose to terminate the relationship with prejudice, as the essential trust placed in the other party shall have been breached. (This is a condition known as "control via safeword", and is not acceptable in any situation.)
e. Safeword
Master and slave agree that they may make demands of each other that cannot be met without incurring physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or other harm at the time the demands are placed. In all circumstances related to this, the other party may call safeword. The person safewording can expect the following: that the demands will be put on hold; that because there is emotional distress inherent in not being able to meet the needs of the other, the person whose demands are not being met shall not issue any form of blame or discouragement; and that the person who placed the demands will be emotionally supportive and reinforcing of the trust required to believe that a safeword will be properly reacted to. In the event that there is physical or emotional strain involved, the person who is responding to the safeword will do his level best to ease the strain as much as necessary to give the person who called safeword enough space and time to recuperate and recover, as well as the emotional support necessary to re-establish trust and well-being.
Limitation of Safeword: Master and slave acknowledge that calling safeword places a great deal of stress upon the responding party. Thus, they shall strive to only use it in situations where they are completely overwhelmed by mental, physical, emotional, or other stresses that they cannot deal with, and both Master and slave trust each other not to use it frivolously. If this is breached repeatedly (not less than 3 times), the responding party may choose to terminate the relationship with prejudice, as the essential trust placed in the other party shall have been breached. (In particular, slave shall never attempt to control Master's actions by safewording frivolously. slave acknowledges Master's Dominance in this and all things, and shall not attempt to wrest control by "topping from the bottom".)
f. Personal Safety
In any event where either Master or slave is placed in a situation (or is about to be placed in a situation) where there is a perception of real danger of harm to him, he may temporarily halt the activity that is dangerous, and shall at that time air his concerns. (Master is not considered 'infallible', and while the authority figure, may possibly overlook something important or dangerous.) At that time, Master may make any or no changes to the situation, and continue the activity anyway. slave will accept and trust Master's judgement once the matter is called to His attention. Neither party shall ever be denied this right to expressing concerns for personal safety.
g. Permanent Physical Changes
Master and slave acknowledge that certain things desired by Master may cause permanent changes to the physical body of slave. In all cases where this may occur, slave may for any reason choose to decline the change, or may choose to accept the change. (Permanent physical changes include such things as tattoos, scars, brands, genital maiming, permanent piercings, and anything else that will, for a period of more than four months, permanently change the shape, form, sight, functionality, or other aspects of the physical body.) This restriction is in place for the trial period, and for as long after the trial period as slave needs to feel comfortable.
h. Extra-relationship Sexual Activity
Master and slave shall both have the option of sexual exploration outside of the relationship. In any case where sexual gratification is sought, given, or received, the sexual contact shall be made as safe as reasonably possible and acceptable to both Master and slave. Because not following this rule is exposing both Master and slave to extreme physical danger, failure to observe this rule shall be reported to the other party at the earliest opportunity, who shall have the option of terminating the relationship at that point.
i. Statute of Limitations
Master and slave agree that timeliness is of the essence in communicating distress or distressing situations. Master and slave also acknowledge that it is sometimes difficult to immediately bring things up, and that a bit of time is sometimes necessary to think through a situation logically to figure out where the distress came from. Thus, Master and slave agree that they shall give each other one week from the first time they can speak in a reasonable fashion about any individual incident to bring up any issues related to that incident.
However, incidents may be tracked beyond that one-week range, to determine a pattern of undesirable behavior that may need to be brought up in standard communications between Master and slave.
j. Legal Responsibilities
Master and slave acknowledge that they may be placed in physically taxing situations, at Master's whim, such that physical injury may occur. Master and slave commit, in the spirit of partnership, to taking care of each other when they are injured. To support this commitment, Master and slave shall both execute medical powers of attorney, giving each other the right to make medical decisions for each other in the event of a lack of ability to make decisions on their own behalf.
6. slave's Responsibilities
Within the global rights and responsibilities outlined in section 5 of this agreement, none of which shall be superseded by any of the following statements, slave agrees the following:
a. slave desires to be trained to be as his Master desires him to be. Therefore, slave knowingly, willingly, and willfully abdicates his freedoms to Master, to be returned only when, where, and how Master sees fit, for as long as Master sees fit.
b. slave shall accept all decisions made for him by his Master. Master shall be served by slave to the best of his ability, with dispatch and without reservation.
c. slave shall bear all marks and clothing as Master directs and gifts to him with pride and honor, and shall do so for any reason desired by Master.
d. slave shall not limit his actions or interactions with others in Master's presence, nor shall slave conceal anything from Master -- from body to thoughts and feelings.
e. slave shall always answer any question Master asks truthfully, as laid out in section 5b. slave shall also bring things to Master's attention that, in slave's best judgement, are important for Master to know.
f. slave shall accept any dietary changes or restrictions that Master sees fit (as long as it does not cause harm, such as slave's allergy to seafood).
g. slave's personal habits shall be remade at any time, in any manner Master desires, for any reason that Master desires.
h. slave shall accept all training measures and techniques that Master chooses to use, without question or reservation (save only the parameters previously set forth in sections 5f and 5g).
i. slave shall address Master as 'my Master' or 'my Lord' unless specifically directed otherwise by Master. In such cases, Master will usually direct slave to address him as 'Sir' or 'Marcus', depending on the circumstances and Master's whim. slave may, in a situation where others are around that is perceived as posing a threat of real danger under section 5f, address Master as 'Marcus'. If, after that, Master refers to slave as 'slave', slave shall revert to the most appropriate form of address that Master has explicitly granted slave the right to use at that time. If at any time Master refers to slave as 'Mathew', slave will immediately start addressing Master as 'Marcus', until such time as Master addresses him as 'slave' again. (This is so that interactions with other people that are dangerous can be properly handled without taking precious time or speech to make it explicit. It is hoped that such a situation will never arise.)
j. Notwithstanding 6i, slave shall keep current patterns of speech intact unless and until Master retrains him. slave's address of Master for questions shall be prefaced with, "Master?" Master may grant slave the ability to ask the question at that time, or may deny the ability to ask the question until later. In the case of denied speech, slave will remain silent until allowed speech again.
k. slave shall be permitted to explore sexually outside this relationship, as desired, by Master's permission, subject to the restrictions of section 5h.
l. slave shall never deny entrance of Master to his home, as long as this agreement persists. (slave maintains, at the inception of this agreement, a separate home from Master. When and if Master has slave move in with Him, slave will still not deny Master entrance to his home.)
m. slave shall provide his financial, domestic, and other resources to Master for Master's upholding of His responsibilities.
n. slave shall never perform any action that, by its nature, would bring shame to him or his Master, would demonstrate disrespect to Master, or disgrace Master.
o. slave acknowledges that Master invests significant time, effort, and emotional stress into his training. Thus, slave shall never make Master's job any more difficult than it needs to be, and shall also not attempt to control any situation that Master is currently in control of, except at Master's bidding.
p. slave acknowledges that Master will not always be in a mindset to interact with slave on the level that slave may desire (sexually, Dominantly, emotionally, or otherwise)... and thus will perform his duties with a minimum of fuss, and shall offer any emotional or other support to Master that may be necessary.
q. slave acknowledges that Master has relationships with people in His life that may be damaged by inadvertently letting slip that slave is owned by Master, and disclosing Master's identity. Thus, slave will not talk about his Master in any except the most general of terms, unless Master has given permission for slave to speak in that manner to the person that slave may be talking to.
r. Most importantly, slave realizes that he is in his relationship with Master for Master's edification, amusement, and fulfillment, and shall do everything within his power to minimize the use of his rights under this agreement -- using them only so far as to ensure that he feels safe. It is expected that as time goes on, slave will learn that he has no need for these rights, and will either relinquish them or cease using them.
7. Master's Responsibilities
Within the global rights and responsibilities outlined in section 5 of this agreement, none of which shall be superseded by any of the following statements, Master agrees to the following:
a. Master shall provide for his slave's emotional, mental, and spiritual direction while slave is in His care.
b. Because Master, and service to Master, is so important to slave's mental and emotional well-being, Master acknowledges that slave's loss of his Master would cause emotional, mental, and spiritual harm to slave. Master shall thus never knowingly place himself or slave in mortal danger that Master does not deem necessary.
c. Master shall train slave to proper, full-time service to Master, in all facets of what Master desires.
d. Master shall refer to and address slave in any manner He sees fit, at any time, in any context. Master shall temper this with knowledge of social stigmas, and shall strive to keep knowledge of Master and slave's relationship from anyone who would be hostile towards it and both parties. Master shall also endeavor to withhold knowledge of the relationship from those of slave's friends whose relationships with slave would be adversely affected by the knowledge, until slave chooses to inform his friends.
e. Master shall bear in mind slave's physical limits by age, body condition, injuries, and psychological impositions while devising a training plan for slave, and training slave.
f. Master may, at His discretion, train slave on any or all mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, magickal, and other planes as he knows and is capable.
g. Master shall endeavor to maintain the best home available to himself and, if it is ever decided that slave shall move in with Him, His slave, using as much in the way of resources as necessary to live comfortably.
h. Master and slave acknowledge that training is hard... and that Master works as hard as or harder than slave during training periods. Thus, Master may, at His discretion, declare "free times" for himself and slave, such that they shall be near equals -- these times being used for physical, emotional, spiritual, and other healing, as needed. Each free time shall have an estimated time of completion, and shall be kept short-term. In the event Master feels the need to extend the free time, He may do so. Because training is hard on slave as well, and slave needs healing in these matters as well, Master may not shorten any free time previously announced without slave's consent.
i. Master agrees to take care of slave when slave is otherwise physically incapacitated, ensure that slave gets all necessary medical attention, and ensure that slave is not asked to perform any action which would make any physical damage worse.
8. Termination Procedures
In the event of termination of this agreement, both parties agree to return any property owned by the other within a reasonable time, and to not burden the other with his property for any unreasonable length of time. In the event of jointly-owned property, Master and slave agree to split its monetary and emotional value as close to evenly as possible without destruction of any property.
In the event that Master and slave do not agree at termination what the monetary and emotional value is, a mediation may take place. In the event that mediation does not resolve the dispute, Master and slave agree to take the matter before an arbitrator of the American Arbitration Association, who shall make a final, binding decision. Master and slave agree to jointly pay for the cost of the mediation and arbitration, should it become necessary.
9. Order of succession
Once this agreement is signed, it shall supercede any and all other agreements Master and slave have in place as of the date the agreement is signed, within the topic of commitment to each other and the relationship. Any modifications to this basic agreement (after signing) must be made in the form of addendums, which shall be signed by both Master and slave, and attached to this agreement. Master and slave agree, to the best of their abilities, to abide by the letter and spirit of this agreement for the duration of the contract.
10. Survivability
In the event that this agreement is terminated, Master and slave agree that they still have a responsibility to each other. Specifically, in the event of a termination, there will undoubtedly be some bad feelings... whether they be guilt, anguish, anger, pain, or anything else. Thus, Master and slave agree that they will strive to be supportive of each other as much as possible -- even if it means not having any contact with each other for a while. It is hoped that the relationship that is forged will never lead to a dissolution of friendship, but as nobody can predict the future there can be no guarantee that this hope will come to pass.
I, , do understand the responsibilities laid out above, and affirm the intention of this agreement as an attempt to forge understanding of rights and responsibilities in a new relationship. I enter into this relationship of my own free will, with no coercion expressed or implied, and agree that the aforementioned responsibilities are what I choose to be bound to within this relationship. By my signature, I affirm my intent to enter into this agreement.
Signed _______________________________ Date _________________________
I, , do understand the responsibilities laid out above, and affirm the intention of this agreement as an attempt to forge understanding of rights and responsibilities in a new relationship. I enter into this relationship of my own free will, with no coercion expressed or implied, and agree that the aforementioned responsibilities are what I choose to be bound to within this relationship. By my signature, I affirm my intent to enter into this agreement.
Signed _______________________________ Date _________________________

(idea) by Thumper (7 mon) (print) ? Tue May 22 2001 at 22:59:41

Section 5.e, "Safeword" talks about calling safeword but doesn't say what the safeword is. I'd suggest a sentence which says that a safeword must be chosen by the Master and communicated clearly to the slave.
There are common (and delicious) situations in which the safeword can't be spoken or heard. Normally it's understood that some non-verbal safeword is used instead—"To call safeword, pull your right leg against the restraints three times in a row, then left leg." A clause requiring this would be appropriate:
If either Master or slave is about to be in a position where the safeword cannot be communicated verbally, the Master must choose and clearly communicate some nonverbal method of calling safeword to the slave before the verbal safeword is impaired.
I, ________________________________ evidenced by my signature below, respectfully request that the bearer of this document, whomever that my be, allowed me to be part of a total power exchange, Dominant and submissive relationship with myself as the submissive.
I also understand that the bearer may freely trade this document to anyone at any time and I will continue to abide by the terms therein.
I understand that this relationship may include, but is not limited to, prolonged periods of bondage, sexual frustration, sexual acts with both males and females, public nudism, exhibitionism and pain and / or punishment with whatever implements the bearer may wish to use.
I accept any decision the bearer may make as to the time, place, reason, severity, length and implement of any punishment they may see fit to inflict upon me. I understand I may be punished for no reason what so ever. I freely give up any right to protest the bearer's decision in this matter.
I understand that this relationship may include sexual acts of an oral, anal and vaginal nature. I understand that I may be required to engage in sexual acts with other females or multiple partners of either sex.
I understand that photographs or videotapes of me engaging in any activity may be taken. These photographs or videotapes become the sole property of the bearer of this document at the time the photographs or videotapes are taken. While I prefer to keep these photographs or videotapes private, I understand that they are not my property to control and the bearer may do with them as they please.
I request that no sex with a minor, animal or the use of bodily functions is engaged in. I agree to keep myself free from sexually transmitted disease and am assured the bearer will do the same. Any violation of this paragraph voids this document completely.
I freely give the bearer power to interpret this document as they see fit except for the paragraph immediately above this one.
In exchange for being allowed to enter into this relationship, I give to the bearer the sole and exclusive use of my body. This may include, but is not limited to, the length of my hair, shaving of my body hair, piercing, tattooing, body weight, and manner of dress and undress. I freely give the bearer the right to refuse or order any modification to my body as the bearer may see fit. I agree that I will enter into no other agreement with any other person for the use of my body, to include sexual relations, without first obtaining permission from the bearer of this document.
I freely and knowingly sign this document on the ______day of _________, _____.

SIGNATURE:_______________________________________
SIGNATURE OF WITNESS:______________________________________ DATE:_______________



Slave is a term often used in BDSM to connote a specific form of submissive. A sexual roleplay or consensual slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.
Connotatively it refers to highly committed domination and submission (commonly abbreviated as D/s) relationships, as a person who has surrendered their personal property and freedoms to another, who has become the property or chattel of their owner(s). This term is widely used, as it has a certain self-affirming weight.
Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as one in kind, not in degree. In particular, some slaves do not have a naturally submissive personality, but simply choose to surrender their will and volition to another.
It should be noted that the Owner/slave relationship is entered into on a strictly consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery. It is also worth mentioning that the laws of all countries (for example the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution) strictly forbid the practice of slavery.
Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the Owner/slave relationship, such as wearing the owner's collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type. Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail, but these have no legal weight and are therefore not intended to be used in any court of law.
In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be an actual piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that symbolizes their slavery. These collars are generally never removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves exchange a formal collar for a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one in work and vanilla situations.
There is considerable debate over the exact definition of the word "slave" as it pertains to BDSM. Many people believe that you are a slave if you consider yourself one, whilst others believe one must be in the emotional state of Total Power Exchange or Internal Enslavement for the term to apply.
There are differences of opinion about whether one needs to be currently owned to be identified as a slave. Many in the Master/slave community do not feel that ownership is a requirement.
[edit] Slave training
Slave training is a BDSM roleplaying activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a master or mistress and a slave. Typically this involves changing the slave's behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master, perhaps instructing the slave to follow a set of rules that the Master/Mistress has set out.
Slave training is a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the Master/Mistress, or dominant. Training will usually be set out and defined clearly before it begins. The Master will teach the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing to him/her. The slave, in return, gets pleasure from being able to make his/her Master/Mistress happy.
In BDSM, servitude is performing tasks and following orders as an aspect of being submissive.
Some submissives gain pleasure and satisfaction from performing services for their dominants, such as serving as a chauffeur, butler, houseboy, or maid.
In workplace BDSM, the submissive may somehow secretly contrive that a work colleague, of same or opposite gender to the submissive, unwittingly finds themself with imagined or real work related disciplinary power status over the submissive. The created dominant may never realise they are bringing secret pleasure and satisfaction to the submissive, in the giving of orders or else in rebuking the submissive for supposed performance failings at the workplace, such as "laziness".
The pleasures of servitude are often combined with the pleasures of fetishes, the pleasures of humiliation, or both. A submissive may rub his or her dominant's feet because the sub enjoys providing the service, has a foot fetish or enjoys being "lower" than the dominant, or any combination. But some bottoms who enjoy servitude prefer to keep their enjoyment and pleasure secret from all others including person(s) they have created as their "dominant".
In other situations, the servitude may also enjoy being collared and leashed, and in some aspects being treated like an animal. Leashes can also be attached to piercings.
Domination and submission (also known as D&s, Ds or D/s) is a set of behaviors, customs and rituals relating to the giving and accepting of dominance of one individual over another in an erotic or lifestyle context.
D/s is often referred to as the "mental" side of BDSM. Physical contact is not a necessity, and can even be conducted anonymously over telephone, email or (more recently) instant messaging services. In other cases it can be intensely physical, sometimes traversing into sadomasochism. In D/s, one takes pleasure or erotic enjoyment out of either dominating or being dominated. Those who take the superior position are called Dominants, Doms (male) or Dommes (female), while those who take the subordinate position are called subs or submissives (male or female). A switch is an individual who plays in either role. Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session. Submissives generally outnumber Dominants, with male subs outnumbering Dommes by the widest margin, often three to one or more. "Dominatrix" is a term usually reserved for a female professional dominant who dominates others for pay.
Overview
Dominance and submission, and the inner conflict and surrender connected to these are enduring themes in human culture and civilization. Human beings share with many other mammals the instinct to look up to certain individuals who become leaders through strength of will and personality, to lead or follow, and to submit or dominate. In human sexuality this has broadened to include mutual exploration of roles, emotions and activities which would be difficult or impossible to do without a willing partner taking an opposing role.
D/s is often described by what it is not. It deals with representations of brutality and cruelty, and the emotional responses to them, but adherents are quick to point out that D/s is not about acts of true brutality and cruelty. It is based on a deep ethos of mutual respect in which exploration of the emotions brought up by brutality and cruelty can take place in a safe, sane and consensual manner. D/s may be ritualised or freeform. It is usually a negotiated lifestyle, with people discussing their wishes, limits and needs in order to find commonality. A D/s relationship may be sexual or non-sexual, long or short term, and intimate or anonymous. Most adherents search for the essential intensity, trust and intimacy that are required to make any deep relationship possible.
[edit] Terminology
Main article: List of BDSM terms
D/s participants often refer to their activity as "play", with an individual play session called a "scene".
[edit] D/s relationship styles
There can be any number of partners in a D/s relationship, with one dominant sometimes having several submissives, who may in turn dominate others, or a submissive sometimes may have multiple dominants. Relationships may be monogamous or polyamorous. Romantic love is not necessarily a feature in D/s, partners might be very much in love or have no romantic relationship at all.
Variation in D/s is virtually limitless and the activities take many forms. These may include:
cuckoldry
domestic servitude or consensual slavery
enforced chastity of the submissive
erotic humiliation
payments by the submissive to the dominant, in which case the dominant may be known as a cash master or cash mistress
sexual slavery
verbal abuse
These may be combined with other forms of BDSM. A classic example of D/s is the Sissymaid, where an adult male dresses in cartoonish female clothing and performs stereotypical female chores such as houscleaning or serving tea.
Some D/s relationships are sexual, others completely chaste. Fantasy role play can also be a part, with partners taking classic dominant/submissive roles such as teacher/student, police officer/suspect or parent/child. Animal Play, where one partner takes the role of owner/caretaker and the other takes the part of a pet or animal, can also be D/s play.
[edit] Consent and contracts
Note that Non-consensual D/s is considered abuse and not accepted by the BDSM community.
Main articles: Consent (BDSM) and legal consent which discusses when consent can be a defence to criminal liability for any injuries caused and that, for these purposes, non-physical injuries are included in the definition of grievous bodily harm.
See also: Contract (BDSM)
Consent is a vital element in all psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways. Some employ a written form known as a "Dungeon negotiation form", for others a simple verbal commitment is sufficient. Consent can be limited both in duration and content.
Consensual non-consensuality is a mutual agreement to be able to act as if consent has been waived within safe, sane limits. In essence it is an agreement that subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and reasonable care and commonsense, consent (within defined limits) will be given in advance and with the intent of being irrevocable under normal circumstances, at times without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. As such, it is a show of extreme trust and understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear safe limits on their activities.
It's not unusual to grant consent only for an hour or for an evening. When a scene lasts for more than a few hours, it's common to draft a "scene contract" that defines what will happen and who is responsible for what. It's a good way to work out what all the parties want, and usually improves the experience. Some "contracts" can become quite detailed and run for many pages, especially if a scene is to last a weekend or more.
For long term consent, a "Slave contract" is often used. It is important to remember that BDSM "contracts" are only an agreement between consenting people and are usually not legally binding; in fact, the possession of one may be considered illegal in some areas. Slave contracts are simply a way of defining the nature and limits of the relationship and are not intended to carry legal force.
After a slave contract is drafted, some celebrate the event with a "collaring ceremony", in which the local D/s community is invited to witness the commitment made in the document. Some ceremonies become quite elaborate, and can be as involved as a wedding or any similar ritual.
[edit] Relationships
In some D/s relationships a partner only submits occasionally and with definite short-term goals, perhaps for an evening or the duration of a party.
In other relationships, there may be an ongoing (not scene- or play-specific) power exchange between or among partners in a committed relationship, often involving love and servitude and enacted in ways throughout the relationship. Some D/s relationships may be compared to the idealized marriages portrayed in older television programs, in which one partner is domestic and service-oriented and the other partner is the provider, protector, and household authority. BDSM may otherwise be deliberately and consciously incorporated into the relationship, or it may focus wholly on power exchange.
Some people may opt for the Master or Mistress/slave model, in which consent is negotiated once for a long period and the consent given is generally broader. Slave contracts may be used. Where the contract is in effect continuously, the relationship is referred to as "24/7". The limits of the slave contract can vary widely and extend into other areas of BDSM. Some people opt to be purely "sex slaves", while others who prefer domestic service identify as "service slaves". Some slaves allow their Masters or Mistresses complete latitude as to the demands that can be placed on them. Such a relationship is known as Total Power Exchange or TPE.
People usually only enter into a Master/slave contract after they have known and played with each other for some time, often several years. It can be one of the most difficult relationships in the BDSM world to maintain, and requires special skills and experience.
[edit] Equipment and accessories
Some people maintain a special room or area, called a Dungeon, which contains special equipment (shackles, handcuffs, whips, queening stools and spanking benches or a Berkley Horse, for example) used for play scenes, or they may visit a BDSM club that maintains such facilities.
[edit] Collars


A typical D/s "slave collar"
Many submissives and slaves wear a "collar" to denote their status and commitment. It can be much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one. The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, designed or even crafted by the Dominant partner. Some subs wear a "symbolic collar", often a bracelet or ankle chain, which is more subdued than the traditional collar and can pass in vanilla (non-BDSM) situations. It is not uncommon for a sub to have several collars for special occasions.
There was once a tradition that wearing a collar with an open padlock indicated that one was seeking a partner, a closed lock indicated that one was in a relationship. This symbolism became less common after 1995 or so.
Many people, for example some of those in the punk rock and goth subcultures, wear collars for other reasons such as fashion, so one cannot assume that all people wearing collars are involved in BDSM. Members of the furry fandom may also wear collars as a part of costuming or as a fashion. Use of collars in the sexual aspects of furry lifestyle may or may not be connected to BDSM depending on the individual's preferences.
[edit] Safety
There are some risks commonly associated with D/s. Because it is mostly a mental activity, many of the risks associated with D/s involve mental health. Others involve abuses of the trust inherent in a D/s relationship. Some examples are:
"Top's disease," or the tendency for some Dom/mes to grow into a sense of infallibility or omnipotence