Poor Louisa, however, bore up at length better than could

have been expected; and though she suffer'd, and greatly too,

yet, ever true to the good old cause, she suffer'd with plea-

sure and enjoyed her pain.  And soon now, by dint of an en-

rag'd enforcement, the brute-machine, driven like a whirl-

wind, made all smoke again, and wedging its way up, to the

utmost extremity, left her, in point of penetration, nothing

to fear or to desire: and now,

     "Gorg'd with the dearest morsel of the earth,"

                                         (Shakespeare.)

Louisa lay, pleas'd to the heart, pleas'd to her utmost capa-

city of being so, with every fibre in those parts, stretched

almost to breaking, on a rack of joy, whilst the instrument

of all this overfulness searched her senses with its sweet

excess, till the pleasure gained upon her so, its point stung

her so home, that catching at length the rage from her fur-

ious driver and sharing the riot of his wild rapture, she

went wholly out of her mind into that favourite part of her

body, the whole intenseness of which was so fervously fill'd,

and employ'd: there alone she existed, all lost in those de-

lirious transports, those extasies of the senses, which her

winking eyes, the brighten'd vermilion of her lips and cheeks,

and sighs of pleasure deeply fetched, so pathetically ex-

press'd.  In short, she was now as mere a machine as much

wrought on, and had her motions as little at her own command

as the natural himself, who thus broke in upon her, made her

feel with a vengeance his tempestuous tenderness, and the

force of the mettle he battered with; their active loins

quivered again with the violence of their conflict, till the

surge of pleasure, foaming and raging to a height, drew down

the pearly shower that was to allay this hurricane.  The

purely sensitive idiot then first shed those tears of joy that

attend its last moments, not without an agony of delight and

even almost a roar of rapture, as the gush escaped him; so

sensibly too for Louisa, that she kept him faithful company,

going off, in consent, with the old symptoms: a delicious

delirium, a tremulous convulsive shudder, and the critical

dying Oh!  And now, on his getting off, she lay pleasure-

drench'd, and re-gorging its essential sweets; but quite

spent, and gasping for breath, without other sensation of

life than in those exquisite vibrations that trembled yet on

the strings of delight, which had been too intensively

touched, and which nature had been so intensly stirred with,

for the senses to be quickly at peace from.

     As for the changeling, whose curious engine had been

thus successfully played off, his shift of countenance and

gesture had even something droll, or rather tragi-comic in

it: there was now an air of sad repining foolishness, super-

added to his natural one of no-meaning and idiotism, as he

stood with his label of manhood, now lank, unstiffen'd, be-

calm'd, and flapping against his thighs, down which it reach'd

half-way, terrible even in its fall, whilst under the dejec-

tion of spirit and flesh, which naturally followed, his eyes,

by turns, cast down towards his struck standard, or piteously

lifted to Louisa, seemed to require at her hands what he had

so sensibly parted from to her, and now ruefully miss'd.  But

the vigour of nature, soon returning, dissipated the blast of

faintness which the common law of enjoyment had subjected him

to; and now his basket re-became his main concern, which I

look'd for, and brought him, whilst Louisa restor'd his dress

to its usual condition, and afterwards pleased him perhaps

more by taking all his flowers off his hands, and paying him,

at his rate, for them, than if she had embarrass'd him by a

present that he would have been puzzled to account for, and

might have put others on tracing the motives of.

     Whether she ever return'd to the attack I know not, and,

to say the truth, I believe not.  She had had her freak out,

and had pretty plentifully drown'd her curiosity in a glut of

pleasure, which, as it happened, had no other consequence

than that the lad, who retain'd only a confused memory of the

transaction, would, when he saw her, for some time after,

express a grin of joy and familiarity, after his idiot manner,

and soon forgot her in favour of the next woman, tempted, on

the report of his parts, to take him in.

                         Part 10

     Louisa herself did not long outstay this adventure at

Mrs. Cole's (to whom, by-the-bye, we took care not to boast

of our exploit, till all fear of consequences were clearly

over): for an occasion presenting itself of proving her

passion for a young fellow, at the expense of her discretion,

proceeding all in character, she pack'd up her toilet at half

a day's warning and went with him abroad, since which I

entirely lost sight of her, and it never fell in my way to

hear what became of her.

     But a few days after she had left us, two very pretty

young gentlemen, who were Mrs. Cole's especial favourites,

and free of her academy, easily obtain'd her consent for

Emily's and my acceptance of a party of pleasure at a little

but agreeable house belonging to one of them, situated not

far up the river Thames, on the Surry side.

     Everything being settled, and it being a fine summer-

day, but rather of the warmest, we set out after dinner, and

got to our rendez-vous about four in the afternoon; where,

landing at the foot of a neat, joyous pavillion, Emily and I

were handed into it by our squires, and there drank tea with

a cheerfulness and gaiety that the beauty of the prospect,

the serenity of the weather, and the tender politeness of our

sprightly gallants naturally led us into.

     After tea, and taking a turn in the garden, my particu-

lar, who was the master of the house, and had in no sense

schem'd this party of pleasure for a dry one, propos'd to us,

with that frankness which his familiarity at Mrs. Cole's

entitled him to, as the weather was excessively hot, to bathe

together, under a commodious shelter that he had prepared

expressly for that purpose, in a creek of the river, with

which a side-door of the pavilion immediately communicated,

and where we might be sure of having our diversion out, safe

from interruption, and with the utmost privacy.

     Emily, who never refus'd anything, and I, who ever

delighted in bathing, and had no exception to the person who

propos'd it, or to those pleasures it was easy to guess it

implied, took care, on this occasion, not to wrong our

training at Mrs. Cole's, and agreed to it with as good a

grace as we could.  Upon which, without loss of time, we

return'd instantly to the pavilion, one door of which open'd

into a tent, pitch'd before it, that with its marquise,

formed a pleasing defense against the sun, or the weather,

and was besides as private as we could wish.  The lining of

it, imbossed cloth, represented a wild forest-foliage, from

the top down to the sides, which, in the same stuff, were

figur'd with fluted pilasters, with their spaces between

fill'd with flower-vases, the whole having a gay effect upon

the eye, wherever you turn'd it.

     Then it reached sufficiently into the water, yet con-

tain'd convenient benches round it, on the dry ground, either

to keep our cloaths, or . . ., or . . ., in short, for more

uses than resting upon.  There was a side-table too, loaded

with sweetmeats, jellies, and other eatables, and bottles of

wine and cordials, by way of occasional relief from any raw-

ness, or chill of the water, or from any faintness from what-

ever cause; and in fact, my gallant, who understood chere

entiere perfectly, and who, for taste (even if you would not

approve this specimen of it) might have been comptroller of

pleasures to a Roman emperor, had left no requisite towards

convenience or luxury unprovided.

     As soon as we had look'd round this inviting spot, and

every preliminary of privacy was duly settled, strip was the

word: when the young gentlemen soon dispatch'd the undressing

each his partner and reduced us to the naked confession of

all those secrets of person which dress generally hides, and

which the discovery of was, naturally speaking, not to our

disadvantage.  Our hands, indeed, mechanically carried towards

the most interesting part of us, screened, at first, all from

the tufted cliff downwards, till we took them away at their

desire, and employed them in doing them the same office, of

helping off with their cloaths; in the process of which, there

pass'd all the little wantonnesses and frolicks that you may

easily imagine.

     As for my spark, he was presently undressed, all to his

shirt, the fore-lappet of which as he lean'd languishingly on

me, he smilingly pointed to me to observe, as it bellied out,

or rose and fell, according to the unruly starts of the mo-

tion behind it; but it was soon fix'd, for now taking off his

shirt, and naked as a Cupid, he shew'd it me at so upright a

stand, as prepar'd me indeed for his application to me for

instant ease; but, tho' the sight of its fine size was fit

enough to fire me, the cooling air, as I stood in this state

of nature, joined to the desire I had of bathing first, en-

abled me to put him off, and tranquillize him, with the re-

mark that a little suspense would only set a keener edge on

the pleasure.  Leading then the way, and shewing our friends

an example of continency, which they were giving signs of

losing respect to, we went hand in hand into the stream, till

it took us up to our neck, where the no more than grateful

coolness of the water gave my senses a delicious refreshment

from the sultriness of the season, and made more alive, more

happy in myself, and, in course, more alert, and open to

voluptuous impressions.

     Here I lav'd and wanton'd with the water, or sportively

play'd with my companion, leaving Emily to deal with hers at

discretion.  Mine, at length, not content with making me take

the plunge over head and ears, kept splashing me, and provok-

ing me with all the little playful tricks he could devise,

and which I strove not to remain in his debt for.  We gave,

in short, a loose to mirth; and now, nothing would serve him

but giving his hands the regale of going over every part of

me, neck, breast, belly, thighs, and all the et cetera, so

dear to the imagination, under the pretext of washing and

rubbing them; as we both stood in the water, no higher now

than the pit of our stomachs, and which did not hinder him

from feeling, and toying with that leak that distinguishes

our sex, and it so wonderfully water-tight: for his fingers,

in vain dilating and opening it, only let more flame than

water into it, be it said without a figure.  At the same time

he made me feel his own engine, which was so well wound up,

as to stand even the working in water, and he accordingly

threw one arm round my neck, and was endeavouring to get the

better of that harsher construction bred by the surrounding

fluid; and had in effect won his way so far as to make me

sensible of the pleasing stretch of those nether-lips, from

the in-driving machine; when, independent of my not liking

that aukward mode of enjoyment, I could not help interrupt-

ing him, in order to become joint spectators of a plan of

joy, in hot operation between Emily and her partner; who

impatient of the fooleries and dalliance of the bath, had led

his nymph to one of the benches on the green bank, where he

was very cordially proceeding to teach her the difference be-

twixt jest and earnest.

     There, setting her on his knee, and gliding one hand over

the surface of that smooth polish'd snow-white skin of hers,

which now doubly shone with a dew-bright lustre, and presented

to the touch something like what one would imagine of animated

ivory, especially in those ruby-nippled globes, which the

touch is so fond of and delights to make love to, with the

other he was lusciously exploring the sweet secret of nature,

in order to make room for a stately piece of machinery, that

stood uprear'd, between her thighs, as she continued sitting

on his lap, and pressed hard for instant admission, which the

tender Emily, in a fit of humour deliciously protracted, af-

fecting to decline, and elude the very pleasure she sigh'd

for, but in a style of waywardness so prettily put on, and

managed, as to render it ten times more poignant; then her

eyes, all amidst the softest dying languishment, express'd at

once a mock denial and extreme desire, whilst her sweetness

was zested with a coyness so pleasingly provoking, her moods

of keeping him off were so attractive, that they redoubled

the impetuous rage with which he cover'd her with kisses: and

the kisses that, whilst she seemed to shy from or scuffle for,

the cunning wanton contrived such sly returns of, as were

doubtless the sweeter for the gust she gave them, of being

stolen ravished.

     Thus Emily, who knew no art but that which nature itself,

in favour of her principal end, pleasure, had inspir'd her

with, the art of yielding, coy'd it indeed, but coy'd it to

the purpose; for with all her straining, her wrestling, and

striving to break from the clasp of his arms, she was so far

wiser yet than to mean it, that in her struggles, it was

visible she aim'd at nothing more than multiplying points of

touch with him, and drawing yet closer the folds that held

them every where entwined, like two tendrils of a vine inter-

curling together: so that the same effect, as when Louisa

strove in good earnest to disengage from the idiot, was now

produced by different motives.

     Mean while, their emersion out of the cold water had

caused a general glow, a tender suffusion of heighten'd

carnation over their bodies; both equally white and smooth-

skinned; so that as their limbs were thus amorously inter-

woven, in sweet confusion, it was scarce possible to distin-

guish who they respectively belonged to, but for the brawnier,

bolder muscles of the stronger sex.

     In a little time, however, the champion was fairly in

with her, and had tied at all points the true lover's knot;

when now, adieu all the little refinements of a finessed re-

luctance; adieu the friendly feint!  She was presently driven

forcibly out of the power of using any art; and indeed, what

art must not give way, when nature, corresponding with her

assailant, invaded in the heart of her capital and carried by

storm, lay at the mercy of the proud conqueror who had made

his entry triumphantly and completely?  Soon, however, to be-

come a tributary: for the engagement growing hotter and

hotter, at close quarters, she presently brought him to the

pass of paying down the dear debt to nature; which she had no

sooner collected in, but, like a duellist who has laid his

antagonist at his feet, when he has himself received a mortal

wound, Emily had scarce time to plume herself upon her vic-

tory, but, shot with the same discharge, she, in a loud ex-

piring sigh, in the closure of her eyes, the stretch-out of

her limbs, and a remission of her whole frame, gave manifest

signs that all was as it should be.

     For my part, who had not with the calmest patience stood

in the water all this time, to view this warm action, I lean'd

tenderly on my gallant, and at the close of it, seemed'd to

ask him with my eyes what he thought of it; but he, more eager

to satisfy me by his actions than by words or looks, as we

shoal'd the water towards the shore, shewed me the staff of

love so intensely set up, that had not even charity beginning

at home in this case, urged me to our mutual relief, it would

have been cruel indeed to have suffered the youth to burst

with straining, when the remedy was so obvious and so near at

hand.

     Accordingly we took to a bench, whilst Emily and her

spark, who belonged it seems to the sea, stood at the side-

board, drinking to our good voyage: for, as the last observ'd,

we were well under weigh, with a fair wind up channel, and

full-freighted; nor indeed were we long before we finished our

trip to Cythera, and unloaded in the old haven; but, as the

circumstances did not admit of much variation, I shall spare

you the description.

     At the same time, allow me to place you here an excuse

I am conscious of owing you, for having, perhaps, too much

affected the figurative style; though surely, it can pass no-

where more allowably than in a subject which is so properly

the province of poetry, nay, is poetry itself, pregnant with

every flower of imagination and loving metaphors, even were

not the natural expressions, for respects of fashion and

sound, necessarily forbid it.

     Resuming now my history, you may please to know that

what with a competent number of repetitions, all in the same

strain (and, by-the-bye, we have a certain natural sense that

those repetitions are very much to the taste), what with a

circle of pleasures delicately varied, there was not a moment

lost to joy all the time we staid there, till late in the

night we were re-escorted home by our squires, who delivered

us safe to Mrs. Cole, with generous thanks for our company.

     This too was Emily's last adventure in our way: for

scarce a week after, she was, by an accident too trivial to

detail to you the particulars, found out by her parents, who

were in good circumstances, and who had been punish'd for

their partiality to their son, in the loss of him, occasion'd

by a circumstance of their over-indulgence to his appetite;

upon which the so long engross'd stream of fondness, running

violently in favour of this lost and inhumanly abandon'd child

whom if they had not neglected enquiry about, they might long

before have recovered.  They were now so overjoyed at the re-

trieval of her, that, I presume, it made them much less strict

in examining the bottom of things: for they seem'd very glad

to take for granted, in the lump, everything that the grave

and decent Mrs. Cole was pleased to pass upon them; and soon

afterwards sent her, from the country, a handsome acknowledge-

ment.

     But it was not so easy to replace to our community the

loss of so sweet a member of it: for, not to mention her

beauty, she was one of those mild, pliant characters that if

one does not entirely esteem, one can scarce help loving,

which is not such a bad compensation neither.  Owing all her

weakness to good-nature, and an indolent facility that kept

her too much at the mercy of first impressions, she had just

sense enough to know that she wanted leading-strings, and

thought herself so much obliged to any who would take the

pains to think for her, and guide her, that with a very little

management, she was capable of being made a most agreeable,

nay, a most virtuous wife: for vice, it is probable, had never

been her choice, or her fate, if it had not been for occasion,

or example, or had she not depended less upon herself than

upon her circumstances.  This presumption her conduct after-

wards verified: for presently meeting with a match that was

ready cut and dry for her, with a neighbour's son of her own

rank, and a young man of sense and order, who took her as the

widow of one lost at sea (for so it seems one of her gallants,

whose name she had made free with, really was), she naturally

struck into all the duties of their domestic life with as much

constancy and regularity, as if she had never swerv'd from a

state of undebauch'd innocence from her youth.

     These desertions had, however, now so far thinned Mrs.

Cole's brood that she was left with only me like a hen with

one chicken; but tho' she was earnestly entreated and encou-

rag'd to recruit her corps, her growing infirmities, and,

above all, the tortures of a stubborn hip-gout, which she

found would yield to no remedy, determin'd her to bread up her

business and retire with a decent pittance into the country,

where I promis'd myself nothing so sure, as my going down to

live with her as soon as I had seen a little more of life and

improv'd my small matters into a competency that would create

in me an independence on the world: for I was, now, thanks to

Mrs. Cole, wise enough to keep that essential in view.

     Thus was I then to lose my faithful preceptress, as did

the Philosophers of the town the White Crow of her profession.

For besides that she never ransacked her customers, whose

taste too she ever studiously consulted, besides that she

never racked her pupils with unconscionable extortions, nor

ever put their hard earnings, as she call'd them, under the

contribution of poundage.  She was a severe enemy to the

seduction for innocence, and confin'd her acquisitions solely

to those unfortunate young women, who, having lost it, were

but the juster objects of compassion: among these, indeed,

she pick'd but such as suited her views and taking them under

her protection, rescu'd them from the danger of the publick

sinks of ruin and misery, to place, or do for them, well or

ill, in the manner you have seen.  Having then settled her

affairs, she set out on her journey, after taking the most

tender leave of me, and at the end of some excellent instruc-

tions, recommending me to myself, with an anxiety perfectly

maternal.  In short, she affected me so much, that I was not

presently reconcil'd to myself for suffering her at any rate

to go without me; but fate had, it seems, otherwise dispos'd

of me.

     I had, on my separation from Mrs. Cole, taken a pleasant

convenient house at Marybone, but easy to rent and manage from

its smallness, which I furnish'd neatly and modestly.  There,

with a reserve of eight hundred pounds, the fruit of my defer-

ence to Mrs. Cole's counsels, exclusive of cloaths, some

jewels, some plate, I saw myself in purse for a long time, to

wait without impatience for what the chapter of accidents

might produce in my favour.

     Here, under the new character of a young gentle-woman

whose husband was gone to sea, I had mark'd me out such lines

of life and conduct, as leaving me at a competent liberty to

pursue my views either out of pleasure or fortune, bounded me

nevertheless strictly within the rules od decency and discre-

tion: a disposition in which you cannot escape observing a

true pupil of Mrs. Cole.

     I was scarce, however, well warm in my new abode, when

going out one morning pretty early to enjoy the freshness of

it, in the pleasing outlet of the fields, accompanied only by

a maid, whom I had newly hired, as we were carelessly walking

among the trees we were alarmed with the noise of a violent

coughing: turning our heads towards which, we distinguish'd a

plain well-dressed elderly gentleman, who, attack'd with a

sudden fit, was so much overcome as to be forc'd to give way

to it and sit down at the foot of a tree, where he seemed

suffocating with the severity of it, being perfectly black in

the face: not less mov'd than frighten'd with which, I flew

on the instant to his relief, and using the rote of practice

I had observ'd on the like occasion, I loosened his cravat

and clapped him on the back; but whether to any purpose, or

whether the cough had had its course, I know not, but the fit

immediately went off; and now recover'd to his speech and

legs, he returned me thanks with as much emphasis as if I had

sav'd his life.  This naturally engaging a conversation, he

acquainted me where he lived, which was at a considerable

distance from where I met with him, and where he had stray'd

insensibly on the same intention of a morning walk.

     He was, as I afterwards learn'd in the course of the

intimacy which this little accident gave birth to, an old

bachelor, turn'd of sixty, but of a fresh vigorous complexion,

insomuch that he scarce marked five and forty, having never

rack'd his constitution by permitting his desires to overtax

his ability.

     As to his birth and condition, his parents, honest and

fail'd mechanicks, had, by the best traces he could get of

them, left him an infant orphan on the parish; so that it was

from a charity-school, that, by honesty and industry, he made

his way into a merchant's counting-house; from whence, being

sent to a house in CADIZ, he there, by his talents and acti-

vity, acquired a fortune, but an immense one, with which he

returned to his native country; where he could not, however,

so much as fish out one single relation out of the obscurity

he was born in.  Taking then a taste for retirement, and

pleas'd to enjoy life, like a mistress in the dark, he flowed

his days in all the ease of opulence, without the least parade

of it; and, rather studying the concealment than the shew of a

fortune, looked down on a world he perfectly knew; himself, to

his wish, unknown and unmarked by.

     But, as I propose to devote a letter entirely to the

pleasure of retracing to you all the particulars of my ac-

quaintance with this ever, to me, memorable friend, I shall,

in this, transiently touch on no more than may serve, as

mortar to cement, to form the connection of my history, and

to obviate your surprize that one of my high blood and relish

of life should count a gallant of threescore such a catch.

     Referring then to a more explicit narrative, to explain

by what progressions our acquaintance, certainly innocent at

first, insensibly changed nature, and ran into unplatonic

lengths, as might well be expected from one of my condition

of life, and above all, from that principle of electricity

that scarce ever fails of producing fire when the sexes meet.

I shall only her acquaint you, that as age had not subdued

his tenderness for our sex, neither had it robbed him of the

power of pleasing, since whatever he wanted in the bewitching

charms of youth, he aton'd for, or supplemented with the ad-

vantages of experience, the sweetness of his manners, and

above all, his flattering address in touching the heart, by

an application to the understanding.  From him it was I first

learn'd, to any purpose, and not without infinite pleasure,

that I had such a portion of me worth bestowing some regard

on; from him I received my first essential encouragement, and

instructions how to put it in that train of cultivation, which

I have since pushed to the little degree of improvement you

see it at; he it was, who first taught me to be sensible that

the pleasures of the mind were superior to those of the body;

at the same time, that they were so far from obnoxious to, or

incompatible with each other, that, besides the sweetness in

the variety and transition, the one serv'd to exalt and per-

fect the taste of the other to a degree that the senses alone

can never arrive at.

     Himself a rational pleasurist, as being much too wise to

be asham'd of the pleasures of humanity, loved me indeed, but

loved me with dignity; in a mean equally remov'd from the

sourness, of forwardness, by which age is unpleasingly char-

acteriz'd, and from that childish silly dotage that so often

disgraces it, and which he himself used to turn into ridicule,

and compare to an old goat affecting the frisk of a young kid.

     In short, everything that is generally unamiable in his

season of life was, in him, repair'd by so many advantages,

that he existed a proof, manifest at least to me, that it is

not out of the power of age to please, if it lays out to

please, and if, making just allowances, those in that class

do not forget that it must cost them more pains and attention

than what youth, the natural spring-time of joy, stands in

need of: as fruits out of season require proportionably more

skill and cultivation, to force them.

     With this gentleman then, who took me home soon after

our acquaintance commenc'd, I lived near eight months; in

which time, my constant complaisance and docility, my atten-

tion to deserve his confidence and love, and a conduct, in

general, devoid of the least art and founded on my sincere

regard and esteem for him, won and attach'd him so firmly to

me, that, after having generously trusted me with a genteel,

independent settlement, proceeding to heap marks of affection

on me, he appointed me, by an authentick will, his sole

heiress and executrix: a disposition which he did not outlive

two months, being taken from me by a violent cold that he

contracted as he unadvisedly ran to the window on an alarm of

fire, at some streets distance, and stood there naked-breast-

ed, and exposed to the fatal impressions of a damp night-air.

     After acquitting myself of my duty towards my deceas'd

benefactor, and paying him a tribute of unfeign'd sorrow,

which a little time chang'd into a most tender, grateful

memory of him that I shall ever retain, I grew somewhat com-

forted by the prospect that now open'd to me, if not of hap-

piness at least of affluence and independence.

     I saw myself then in the full bloom and pride of youth

(for I was not yet nineteen) actually at the head of so large

a fortune, as it would have been even the height of impudence

in me to have raised my wishes, much more my hopes, to; and

that this unexpected elevation did not turn my head, I ow'd

to the pains my benefactor had taken to form and prepare me

for it, as I ow'd his opinion of my management of the vast

possessions he left me, to what he had observ'd of the pru-

dential economy I had learned under Mrs. Cole, of which the

reserve he saw I had made was a proof and encouragement to

him.

     But, alas! how easily is the enjoyment of the greatest

sweets in life, in present possession, poisoned by the regret

of an absent one! but my regret was a mighty and just one,

since it had my only truly beloved Charles for its object.

     Given him up I had, indeed, compleatly, having never once

heard from him since our separation; which, as I found after-

wards, had been my misfortune, and not his neglect, for he

wrote me several letters which had all miscarried; but for-

gotten him I never had.  Amidst all my personal infidelities,

not one had made a pin's point impression on a heart impene-

trable to the true love-passion, but for him.

     As soon, however, as I was mistress of this unexpected

fortune, I felt more than ever how dear he was to me, from

its insufficiency to make me happy, whilst he was not to

share it with me.  My earliest care, consequently, was to

endeavour at getting some account of him; but all my re-

searches produc'd me no more light than that his father had

been dead for some time, not so well as even with the world;

and that Charles had reached his port of destination in the

South-Seas, where, finding the estate he was sent to recover

dwindled to a trifle, by the loss of two ships in which the

bulk of his uncle's fortune lay, he was come away with the

small remainder, and might, perhaps, according to the best

advice, in a few months return to England, from whence he

had, at the time of this my inquiry, been absent two years

and seven months.  A little eternity in love!

     You cannot conceive with what joy I embraced the hopes

thus given me of seeing the delight of my heart again.  But,

as the term of months was assigned it, in order to divert

and amuse my impatience for his return, after settling my

affairs with much ease and security, I set out on a journey

for Lancashire, with an equipage suitable to my fortune, and

with a design purely to revisit my place of nativity, for

which I could not help retaining a great tenderness; and might

naturally not be sorry to shew myself there, to the advantage

I was now in pass to do, after the report Esther Davis had

spread of my being spirited away to the plantations; for on

no other supposition could she account for the suppression of

myself to her, since her leaving me so abruptly at the inn.

Another favourite intention I had, to look out for my rela-

tions, though I had none besides distant ones, and prove a

benefactress to them.  Then Mrs. Cole's place of retirement

lying in my way, was not amongst the least of the pleasures I

had proposed to myself in this expedition.

     I had taken nobody with me but a discreet decent woman,

to figure it as my companion, besides my servants, and was

scarce got into an inn, about twenty miles from London, where

I was to sup and pass the night, when such a storm of wind

and rain sprang up as made me congratulate myself on having

got under shelter before it began.

     This had continu'd a good half hour, when bethinking me

of some directions to be given to the coachman, I sent for

him, and not caring that his shoes should soil the very clean

parlour, in which the cloth was laid, I stept into the hall-

kitchen, where he was, and where, whilst I was talking to him,

I slantingly observ'd two horsemen driven in by the weather,

and both wringing wet; one of whom was asking if they could

not be assisted with a change, while their clothes were dried.

But, heavens! who can express what I felt at the sound of a

voice, ever present to my heart, and that is now rebounded at!

or when pointing my eyes towards the person it came from, they

confirm'd its information, in spite of so long an absence, and

of a dress one would have imagin'd studied for a disguise: a

horseman's great coat, with a stand-up cape, and his hat

flapp'd . . . but what could escape the piercing alertness of

a sense surely guided by love?  A transport then like mine was

above all consideration, or schemes of surprize; and I, that

instant, with the rapidity of the emotions that I felt the

spur of, shot into his arms, crying out, as I threw mine round

his neck:  "My life! . . . my soul! . . . my Charles! . . ."

and without further power of speech, swoon'd away, under the

pressing agitations of joy and surprize.

     Recover'd out of my entrancement, I found myself in my

charmer's arms, but in the parlour, surrounded by a crowd

which this event had gather'd round us, and which immediately,

on a signal from the discreet landlady, who currently took him

for my husband, clear'd the room, and desirably left us alone

to the raptures of this reunion; my joy at which had like to

have prov'd, at the expense of my life, power superior to that

of grief at our fatal separation.

     The first object then, that my eyes open'd on, was their

supreme idol, and my supreme wish Charles, on one knee, hold-

ing me fast by the hand and gazing on me with a transport of

fondness.  Observing my recovery, he attempted to speak, and

give vent to his patience of hearing my voice again, to

satisfy him once more that it was me; but the mightiness and

suddenness of the surprize, continuing to stun him, choked

his utterance: he could only stammer out a few broken, half

formed, faltering accents, which my ears greedily drinking

in, spelt, and put together, so as to make out their sense;

"After so long! . . . so cruel . . . an absence! . . . my

dearest Fanny! . . . can it? . . . can it be you? . . ."

stifling me at the same time with kisses, that, stopping my

mouth, at once prevented the answer that he panted for, and

increas'd the delicious disorder in which all my senses were

rapturously lost.  Amidst however, this crowd of ideas, and

all blissful ones, there obtruded only one cruel doubt, that

poison'd nearly all the transcendent happiness: and what was

it, but my dread of its being too excessive to be real?  I

trembled now with the fear of its being no more than a

dream, and of my waking out of it into the horrors of find-

ing it one.  Under this fond apprehension, imagining I could

not make too much of the present prodigious joy, before it

should vanish and leave me in the desert again, nor verify

its reality too strongly, I clung to him, I clasp'd him, as

if to hinder him from escaping me again:  "Where have you

been? . . . how could you . . . could you leave me? . . .

Say you are still mine . . . that you still love me . . .

and thus! thus!" (kissing him as if I would consolidate lips

with him!)  "I forgive you . . . forgive my hard fortune in

favour of this restoration."

     All these interjections breaking from me, in that wild-

ness of expression that justly passes for eloquence in love,

drew from him all the returns my fond heart could wish or

require.  Our caresses, our questions, our answers, for some

time observ'd no order; all crossing, or interrupting one

another in sweet confusion, whilst we exchang'd hearts at our

eyes, and renew'd the ratifications of a love unbated by time

or absence: not a breath, not a motion, not a gesture on

either side, but what was strongly impressed with it.  Our

hands, lock'd in each other, repeated the most passionate

squeezes, so that their fiery thrill went to the heart again.

     Thus absorbed, and concentre'd in this unutterable de-

light, I had not attended to the sweet author of it, being

thoroughly wet, and in danger of catching cold; when, in good

time, the landlady, whom the appearance of my equipage (which,

by-the-bye, Charles knew nothing of) had gain'd me an interest

in, for me and mine, interrupted us by bringing in a decent

shift of linen and cloaths, which now, somewhat recover'd into

a calmer composure by the coming in of a third person, I prest

him to take the benefit of, with a tender concern and anxiety

that made me tremble for his health.

     The landlady leaving us again, he proceeded to shift; in

the act of which, tho' he proceeded with all that modesty

which became these first solemner instants of our re-meeting

after so long an absence, I could not contain certain snatches

of my eyes, lured by the dazzling discoveries of his naked

skin, that escaped him as he chang'd his linen, and which I

could not observe the unfaded life and complexion of without

emotions of tenderness and joy, that had himself too purely

for their object to partake of a loose or mistim'd desire.

     He was soon drest in these temporary cloaths, which

neither fitted him now became the light my passion plac'd

him in, to me at least; yet, as they were on him, they look'd

extremely well, in virtue of that magic charm which love put

into everything that he touch'd, or had relation to him: and

where, indeed, was that dress that a figure like this would

not give grace to?  For now, as I ey'd him more in detail, I

could not but observe the even favourable alteration which

the time of his absence had produced in his person.

     There were still the requisite lineaments, still the

same vivid vermilion and bloom reigning in his face: but now

the roses were more fully blown; the tan of his travels, and

a beard somewhat more distinguishable, had, at the expense

of no more delicacy than what he could well spare, given it

an air of becoming manliness and maturity, that symmetriz'd

nobly with that air of distinction and empire with which

nature had stamp'd it, in a rare mixture with the sweetness

of it; still nothing had he lost of that smooth plumpness of

flesh, which, glowing with freshness, blooms florid to the

eye, and delicious to the touch; then his shoulders were

grown more square, his shape more form'd, more portly, but

still free and airy.  In short, his figure show'd riper,

greater, and perfecter to the experienced eye than in his

tender youth; and now he was not much more than two and

twenty.

     In this interval, however, I pick'd out of the broken,

often pleasingly interrupted account of himself, that he was,

at that instant, actually on his road to London, in not a

very paramount plight or condition, having been wreck'd on

the Irish coast for which he had prematurely embark'd, and

lost the little all he had brought with him from the South

Seas; so that he had not till after great shifts and hard-

ships, in the company of his fellow-traveller, the captain,

got so far on his journey; that so it was (having heard of

his father's death and circumstances) he had now the world

to begin again, on a new account: a situation which he

assur'd me, in a vein of sincerity that, flowing from his

heart, penetrated mine, gave him to farther pain, than that

he had it not in his power to make me as happy as he could

wish.  My fortune, you will please to observe, I had not

enter'd upon any overture of, reserving to feast myself with

the surprize of it to him, in calmer instants.  And, as to

my dress, it could give him no idea of the truth, not only

as it was mourning, but likewise in a style of plainness and

simplicity that I had ever kept to with studied art.  He

press'd me indeed tenderly to satisfy his ardent curiosity,

both with regard to my past and present state of life since

his being torn away from me: but I had the address to elude

his questions by answers that, shewing his satisfaction at

no great distance, won upon him to waive his impatience, in

favour of the thorough confidence he had in my not delaying

it, but for respects I should in good time acquaint him with.

     Charles, however, thus returned to my longing arms,

tender, faithful, and in health, was already a blessing too

mighty for my conception: but Charles in distress! . . .

Charles reduc'd, and broken down to his naked personal merit,

was such a circumstance, in favour of the sentiments I had

for him, as exceeded my utmost desires; and accordingly I

seemed so visibly charm'd, so out of time and measure pleas'd

at his mention of his ruin'd fortune, that he could account

for it no way, but that the joy of seeing him again had swal-

low'd up every other sense, or concern.

     In the mean time, my woman had taken all possible care

of Charles's travelling companion; and as supper was coming

in, he was introduc'd to me, when I receiv'd him as became my

regard for all of Charles's acquaintance or friends.

     We four then supp'd together, in the style of joy, con-

gratulation, and pleasing disorder that you may guess.  For

my part, though all these agitations had left me not the

least stomach but for that uncloying feast, the sight of my

ador'd youth, I endeavour'd to force it, by way of example

for him, who I conjectur'd must want such a recruit after

riding; and, indeed, he ate like a traveller, but gaz'd at,

and addressed me all the time like a lover.

     After the cloth was taken away, and the hour of repose

came on, Charles and I were, without further ceremony, in

quality of man and wife, shewn up together to a very handsome

apartment, and, all in course, the bed, they said, the best

in the inn.

     And here, Decency, forgive me! if once more I violate

thy laws and keeping the curtains undrawn, sacrifice thee for

the last time to that confidence, without reserve, with which

I engaged to recount to you the most striking circumstances

of my youthful disorders.

     As soon, then, as we were in the room together, left to

ourselves, the sight of the bed starting the remembrance of

our first joys, and the thought of my being instantly to

share it with the dear possessor of my virgin heart, mov'd

me so strongly, that it was well I lean'd upon him, or I

must have fainted again under the overpowering sweet alarm.

Charles saw into my confusion, and forgot his own, that was

scarce less, to apply himself to the removal of mine.

     But now the true refining passion had regain'd thorough

possession of me, with all its train of symptoms: a sweet

sensibility, a tender timidity, love-sick yearnings temper'd

with diffidence and modesty, all held me in a subjection of

soul, incomparably dearer to me than the liberty of heart

which I had been long, too long! the mistress of, in the

course of those grosser gallantries, the consciousness of

which now made me sigh with a virtuous confusion and regret.

No real virgin, in view of the nuptial bed, could give more

bashful blushes to unblemish'd innocence than I did to a

sense of guilt; and indeed I lov'd Charles too truly not to

feel severely that I did not deserve him.

     As I kept hesitating and disconcerted under this soft

distraction, Charles, with a fond impatience, took the pains

to undress me; and all I can remember amidst the flutter and

discomposure of my senses was some flattering exclamations of

joy and admiration, more specially at the feel of my breasts,

now set at liberty form my stays, and which panting and ris-

ing in tumultuous throbs, swell'd upon his dear touch, and

gave it the welcome pleasure of finding them well form'd, and

unfail'd in firmness.

     I was soon laid in bed, and scarce languish'd an instant

for the darling partner of it, before he was undress'd and

got between the sheets, with his arms clasp'd round me, giv-

ing and taking, with gust inexpressible, a kiss of welcome,

that my heart rising to my lips stamp'd with its warmest

impression, concurring to by bliss, with that delicate and

voluptuous emotion which Charles alone had the secret to

excite, and which constitutes the very life, the essence of

pleasure.

     Meanwhile, two candles lighted on a side-table near us,

and a joyous wood-fire, threw a light into the bed that took

from one sense, of great importance to our joys, all pretext

for complaining of its being shut out of its share of them;

and indeed, the sight of my idolized youth was alone, from

the ardour with which I had wished for it, without other cir-

cumstance, a pleasure to die of.

     But as action was now a necessity to desires so much on

edge as ours, Charles, after a very short prelusive dalliance,

lifting up my linen and his own, laid the broad treasures of

his manly chest close to my bosom, both beating with the

tenderest alarms: when now, the sense of his glowing body, in

naked touch with mine, took all power over my thoughts out of

my own disposal, and deliver'd up every faculty of the soul

to the sensiblest of joys, that affecting me infinitely more

with my distinction of the person than of the sex, now

brought my conscious heart deliciously into play: my heart,

which eternally constant to Charles, had never taken any part

in my occasional sacrifices to the calls of constitution,

complaisance, or interest.  But ah! what became of me, when

as the powers of solid pleasure thickened upon me, I could

not help feeling the stiff stake that had been adorn'd with

the trophies of my despoil'd virginity, bearing hard and

inflexible against one of my thighs, which I had not yet

opened, from a true principle of modesty, reviv'd by a pas-

sion too sincere to suffer any aiming at the false merit of

difficulty, or my putting on an impertinent mock coyness.

     I have, I believe, somewhere before remark'd, that the

feel of that favourite piece of manhood has, in the very na-

ture of it, something inimitably pathetic.  Nothing can be

dearer to the touch, nor can affect it with a more delicious

sensation.  Think then! as a love thinks, what must be the

consummate transport of that quickest of our senses, in their

central seat too! when, after so long a deprival, it felt

itself re-inflam'd under the pressure of that peculiar scep-

ter-member which commands us all: but especially my darling,

elect from the face of the whole earth.  And now, at its

mightiest point of stiffness, it felt to me something so

subduing, so active, so solid and agreeable, that I know not

what name to give its singular impression: but the sentiment

of consciousness of its belonging to my supremely beloved

youth, gave me so pleasing an agitation, and work'd so

strongly on my soul, that it sent all its sensitive spirits

to that organ of bliss in me, dedicated to its reception. 

There, concentreing to a point, like rays in a burning glass,

they glow'd, they burnt with the intensest heat; the springs

of pleasure were, in short, wound up to such a pitch, I

panted now, with so exquisitely keen an appetite for the emi-

nent enjoyment that I was even sick with desire, and unequal

to support the combination of two distinct ideas, that de-

lightfully distracted me: for all the thought I was capable

of, was that I was now in touch, at once, with the instrument

of pleasure, and the great-seal of love.  Ideas that, ming-

ling streams, pour'd such an ocean of intoxicating bliss on

a weak vessel, all too narrow to contain it, that I lay over-

whelm'd, absorbed, lost in an abyss of joy, and dying of

nothing but immoderate delight.

     Charles then rous'd me somewhat out of this extatic dis-

traction with a complaint softly murmured, amidst a crowd of

kisses, at the position, not so favourable to his desires, in

which I receiv'd his urgent insistance for admission, where

that insistance was alone so engrossing a pleasure that it

made me inconsistently suffer a much dearer one to be kept

out; but how sweet to correct such a mistake!  My thighs, now

obedient ot the intimations of love and nature, gladly dis-

close, and with a ready submission, resign up the soft gate-

way to the entrance of pleasure: I see, I feel the delicious

velvet tip! . . . he enters me might and main, with . . . oh!

my pen drops from me here in the extasy now present to my

faithful memory!  Description too deserts me, and delivers

over a task, above its strength of wing, to the imagination:

but it must be an imagination exalted by such a flame as mine

that can do justice to that sweetest, noblest of all sensa-

tions, that hailed and accompany'd the stiff insinuation all

the way up, till it was at the end of its penetration, send-

ing up, through my eyes, the sparks of the love-fire that

ran all over me and blaz'd in every vein and every pore of

me: a system incarnate of joy all over.

     I had now totally taken in love's true arrow from the

point up to the feather, in that part, where making now new

wound, the lips of the original one of nature, which had

owed its first breathing to this dear instrument, clung, as

if sensible of gratitude, in eager suction round it, whilst

all its inwards embrac'd it tenderly with a warmth of gust,

a compressive energy, that gave it, in its way, the hearti-

est welcome in nature; every fibre there gathering tight

round it, and straining ambitiously to come in for its share

of the blissful touch.

     As we were giving them a few moments of pause to the

delectation of the senses, in dwelling with the highest

relish on this intimatest point of re-union, and chewing the

cud of enjoyment, the impatience natural to the pleasure soon

drove us into action.  Then began the driving tumult on his

side, and the responsive heaves on mine, which kept me up to

him; whilst, as our joys grew too great for utterance, the

organs of our voices, voluptuously intermixing, became organs

of the touch . . . and oh, that touch! how delicious! . . .

how poignantly luscious! . . . And now! now I felt to the

heart of me! I felt the prodigious keen edge with which love,

presiding over this act, points the pleasure: love! that may

be styled the Attic salt of enjoyment; and indeed, without

it, the joy, great as it is, is still a vulgar one, whether

in a king or a beggar; for it is, undoubtedly, love alone

that refines, ennobles and exalts it.

     Thus happy, then, by the heart, happy by the senses, it

was beyond all power, even of thought, to form the conception

of a greater delight than what I was now consummating the

fruition of.

     Charles, whose whole frame was convulsed with the agita-

tion of his rapture, whilst the tenderest fires trembled in

his eyes, all assured me of a prefect concord of joy, pene-

trated me so profoundly, touch'd me so vitally, took me so

much out of my own possession, whilst he seem'd himself so

much in mine, that in a delicious enthusiasm, I imagin'd such

a transfusion of heart and spirit, as that coalescing, and

making one body and soul with him, I was he, and he, me.

     But all this pleasure tending, like life from its first

instants, towards its own dissolution, liv'd too fast not to

bring on upon the spur its delicious moment of mortality; for

presently the approach of the tender agony discover'd itself

by its usual signals, that were quickly follow'd by my dear

love's emanation of himself that spun our, and shot, feel-

ingly indeed! up the ravish'd in-draught: where the sweetly

soothing balmy titillation opened all the juices of joy on my

side, which extatically in flow, help'd to allay the prurient

glow, and drown'd our pleasure for a while.  Soon, however,

to be on float again!  For Charles, true to nature's laws, in

one breath expiring and ejaculating, languish'd not long in

the dissolving trance, but recovering spirit again, soon gave

me to feel that the true-mettle springs of his instrument of

pleasure were, by love, and perhaps by a long vacation, wound

up too high to be let down by a single explosion: his stiff-

ness still stood my friend.  Resuming then the action afresh,

without dislodging, or giving me the trouble of parting from

my sweet tenant, we play'd over again the same opera, with

the same delightful harmony and concert: our ardours, like

our love, knew no remission; and, all as the tide serv'd my

lover, lavish of his stores, and pleasure milked, over-flowed

me once more from the fulness of his oval reservoirs of the

genial emulsion: whilst, on my side, a convulsive grasp, in

the instant of my giving down the liquid contribution, ren-

der'd me sweetly subservient at once to the increase of his

joy, and of its effusions: moving me so, as to make me exert

all those springs of the compressive exsuction with which the

sensitive mechanism of that part thirstily draws and drains

the nipple of Love; with much such an instinctive eagerness

and attachment as, to compare great with less, kind nature

engages infants at the breast by the pleasure they find in

the motion of their little mouths and cheeks, to extract the

milky stream prepar'd for their nourishment.

     But still there was no end of his vigour: this double

discharge had so far from extinguish'd his desires, for that

time, that it had not even calm'd them; and at his age, de-

sires are power.  He was proceeding then amazingly to push it

to a third triumph, still without uncasing, if a tenderness,

natural to true love, had not inspir'd me with self-denial

enough to spare, and not overstrain him: and accordingly,

entreating him to give himself and me quarter, I obtain'd,

at length, a short suspension of arms, but not before he had

exultingly satisfy'd me that he gave out standing.

     The remainder of the night, with what we borrow'd upon

the day, we employ'd with unweary'd fervour in celebrating

thus the festival of our re-meeting; and got up pretty late

in the morning, gay, brisk and alert, though rest had been a

stranger to us: but the pleasures of love had been to us,

what the joy of victory is to an army; repose, refreshment,

everything.

     The journey into the country being now entirely out of

the question, and orders having been given over-night for

turning the horses' heads towards London, we left the inn as

soon as we had breakfasted, not without a liberal distribu-

tion of the tokens of my grateful sense of the happiness I

had met with in it.

     Charles and I were in my coach; the captain and my com-

panion in a chaise hir'd purposely for them, to leave us the

conveniency of a tete-a-tete.

     Here, on the road, as the tumult of my senses was toler-

ably compos'd, I had command enough to head to break properly

to him the course of life that the consequence of my separa-

tion from him had driven me into: which, at the same time

that he tenderly deplor'd with me, he was the less shocked

at; as, on reflecting how he had left me circumstanc'd, he

could not be entirely unprepar'd for it.

     But when I opened the state of my fortune to him, and

with that sincerity which, from me to him, was so much a

nature in me, I begg'd of him his acceptance of it, on his

own terms.  I should appear to you perhaps too partial to my

passion, were I to attempt the doing his delicacy justice.

I shall content myself then with assuring you, that after

his flatly refusing the unreserv'd, unconditional donation

that I long persecuted him in vain to accept, it was at

length, in obedience to his serious commands (for I stood

out unaffectedly, till he exerted the sovereign authority

which love had given him over me), that I yielded my consent

to waive the remonstrance I did not fail of making strongly

to him, against his degrading himself, and incurring the

reflection, however unjust, of having, for respects of for-

tune, barter'd his honour for infamy and prostitution, in

making one his wife, who thought herself too much honour'd

in being but his mistress.

     The plea of love then over-ruling all objections,

Charles, entirely won with the merit of my sentiments for

him, which he could not but read the sincerity of in a heart

ever open to him, oblig'd me to receive his hand, by which

means I was in pass, among other innumerable blessings, to

bestow a legal parentage on those fine children you have

seen by this happiest of matches.

     Thus at length, I got snug into port, where, in the

bosom of virtue, I gather'd the only uncorrupt sweets: where,

looking back on the course of vice I had run, and comparing

its infamous blandishments with the infinitely superior joys

of innocence, I could not help pitying, even in point of

taste, those who, immers'd in gross sensuality, are insen-

sible to the so delicate charms of VIRTUE, than which even

PLEASURE has not a greater friend, nor than VICE a greater

enemy.  Thus temperance makes men lords over those pleasures

that intemperance enslaves them to: the one, parent of

health, vigour, fertility, cheerfulness, and every other

desirable good of life; the other, of diseases, debility,

barrenness, self-loathing, with only every evil incident to

human nature.

     You laugh, perhaps, at this tail-piece of morality, ex-

tracted from me by the force of truth, resulting from com-

par'd experiences: you think it, no doubt, out of place, out

of character; possibly too you may look on it as the paltry

finesse of one who seeks to mask a devotee to Vice under a

rag of a veil, impudently smuggled from the shrine of Virtue:

just as if one was to fancy one's self compleatly disguised

at a masquerade, with no other change of dress than turning

one's shoes into slippers; or, as if a writer should think to

shield a treasonable libel, by concluding it with a formal

prayer for the King.  But, independent of my flattering my-

self that you have a juster opinion of my sense and sincerity,

give me leave to represent to you, that such a supposition is

even more injurious to Virtue than to me: since, consistently

with candour and good-nature, it can have no foundation but

in the falsest of fears, that its pleasures cannot stand in

comparison with those of Vice; but let truth dare to hold it

up in its most alluring light: then mark, how spurious, how

low of taste, how comparatively inferior its joys are to those

which Virtue gives sanction to, and whose sentiments are not

above making even a sauce for the senses, but a sauce of the

highest relish; whilst Vices are the harpies that infect and

foul the feast.  The paths of Vice are sometimes strew'd with

roses, but then they are for ever infamous for many a thorn,

for many a canker-worm: those of Virtue are strew'd with roses

purely, and those eternally unfading ones.

     If you do me then justice, you will esteem me perfectly

consistent in the incense I burn to Virtue.  If I have painted

Vice in all its gayest colours, if I have deck'd it with flow-

ers, it has been solely in order to make the worthier, the

solemner sacrifice of it, to Virtue.

     You know Mr. C*** O***, you know his estate, his worth,

and good sense: can you, will you pronounce it ill meant, at

least of him, when anxious for his son's morals, with a view

to form him to virtue, and inspire him with a fix'd, a

rational contempt for vice, he condescended to be his master

of the ceremonies, and led him by the hand thro' the most

noted bawdy-houses in town, where he took care he should be

familiarized with all those scenes of debauchery, so fit to

nauseate a good taste?  The experiment, you will cry, is

dangerous.  True, on a fool: but are fools worth so much

attention?

     I shall see you soon, and in the mean time think

candidly of me, and believe me ever,

                           MADAM,

     Yours, etc., etc., etc.,

                           THE END